Scenes from a hat: Rejected "Good news" Geico commercials

[Brandon Pierce]

JUDGE: The jury has decided to let the serial killer-child malestor-arsonist- vandelist-carjacker-shoplifter-rapist-drug deeler off with just a warning.

MOTHER OF CHILD VICTIM: How can you let him go like that! Why can't you people be on the side of justice and help those that are GOOD!

JUDGE: Calm down, besides I have some good news.

MOTHER: You're putting him in jail for life?

JUDGE: Nope. I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurence by switching to Geico. Cout ajourned.

[Yash]

Police man: We have some good news and bad news, miss...

Woman: What's the good news?

Police man: Your husband died in the world trade center attacks.

Woman: That's the good news?

Police man: Erp, that's the bad news. The good news is that I just saved 20% on my car insurance by switching to Geico.

[Agent S7]

Man: Excellent news!

Audience: The Batman will be cancelled and be replaced with a much more intelligent show with action and GOOD looking characters?

Man: No. I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance with Geico.

Audience: (Lynches Man)

[TnAdct1]

Man: Excellent news!

Audience: The Batman will be cancelled and be replaced with a much more intelligent show with action and GOOD looking characters?

Man: No. I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance with Geico.

Audience: (Lynches Man) Don't you wish the lynching actually happened in those Geico commercials? :D

[Tobias]

Doctor: I'm sorry, but your ten year old son is dead. He was decapitated, mutilated, and horribly burned. There's barely anything left. But I have some good news.

Mother: My twelve year old survived?

Doctor:No, I just saved a bunch of money of my car insurance.

[Startrekman700]

Paramount: WE are doing a series about the adventures of captain archer is going to star in a new 25th century we have good news

Star Trek Fan: Rick Berman and Brannon Braga is going to get killed....

Paramount: nope but i saved 50 percent on car insurance

[Mibbitmaker]

MAN#1: "Oh, man! It's all over, even clever advertising couldn't save it...!!"

MAN#2: "What are you talking about??"

MAN#1: "It's Geico! They're bankrupt! They're going out of business, they've revoked all their customers' insurance claims, the CEOs skipped town to duck a grand jury! They even cooked and ate that geko character from the ads! The ASPCA is up in arms about that deer in another! They're ruined, and their stockholders and good customers are screwed! If they're hurt or killed, they get nothing! Nothing, I tell you! It's all worthless now! (starts sobbing)

MAN#2: "Omigod!! Surely, there can't be any good news in all this!"

MAN#1: "Sob, sob... yeah........ there is one thing..."

MAN#2: "What?!"

MAN#1: (perked up) "I saved 50% on my auto insurance by switching to Geico!" (pause. goofy smile vanishes. puzzled) "What the heck are you laughing at...?"

[Agent S7]

MAN#1: "Oh, man! It's all over, even clever advertising couldn't save it...!!"

MAN#2: "What are you talking about??"

MAN#1: "It's Geico! They're bankrupt! They're going out of business, they've revoked all their customers' insurance claims, the CEOs skipped town to duck a grand jury! They even cooked and ate that geko character from the ads! The ASPCA is up in arms about that deer in another! They're ruined, and their stockholders and good customers are screwed! If they're hurt or killed, they get nothing! Nothing, I tell you! It's all worthless now! (starts sobbing)

MAN#2: "Omigod!! Surely, there can't be any good news in all this!"

MAN#1: "Sob, sob... yeah........ there is one thing..."

MAN#2: "What?!"

MAN#1: (perked up) "I saved 50% on my auto insurance by switching to Geico!" (pause. goofy smile vanishes. puzzled) "What the heck are you laughing at...?"
That has got to be the best one! :D :D :D