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View Full Version : A demo of my story that sucks really, really bad. Currently untitled.


Zach
11-18-2004, 06:43 PM
Okay, I've decided to write a story...note: I don't use paragraphs.

Shivers were going up my spine as I removed a block of the wall. I queitly sliped through the hole. I walked up to the opened door and peered out into the hallway. "Hmm...only one guard." I muttered to myself as I slowly crept out of the room. As soon as I noticed the guard was headed towards my direction, I quickly ran into a room. "Just a little closer..." I said silently. The gaurd kept walking. Right when he walked past the door I silently sliped out and grabbed his neck. I held a crud, custom-made blade to his throat. "HHEELLLPP" he began to scream. I cut him off and slit his throat. Blood gushed everywhere. I took his corpse and placed it into a closet. Just as the body was disposed of, three or four guards showed up. "KILL HIM!!!" one of them said. I unsheathed a wakizashi and speeded towards them. The tip of my blade sliped through a pair of ribs. I pulled it out and slashed one of the guards's shoulders. He staggered in pain as I cut through a head followed by an arc of gracefull slashes. The rest of the bodies fell on the ground dead.


This is a small demo. I'll add more later. I know it sucks, but I am planning to revise it so it'll be good.

Zach
11-18-2004, 06:47 PM
Ah, dang. This is just for WF, right? Then close this...i'll write a WF story.

Beguiled
11-18-2004, 06:59 PM
Not bad Sage! ^_^ Not bad at all! A little bit bloody but it had a haunting effect. Is he/you an assassin? Sounds like one. Anyway, very good. I've always had a deep respect for people who write from the character's point of view. I never could lol. Can't wait to hear more.


-Angel.

Zach
11-18-2004, 07:09 PM
Yeah, he's an assassain. Thanks, Angel!!! I guess this could be moved to the story board...

Crowgirl
11-18-2004, 07:35 PM
Welcome AnimeSage and Angel! I am looking forward to this fic, but does it have any relation with any WF characters? If it's on here, I think it should. And paragraphs are also nice to have and use.