The Power of LOve by Huey Lewis and the News-A Code Lyoko Vid-Fic

[sebastian1]

Disclaimer: I don't own the song, the band and the characters of Code Lyoko

(The vid-fic begins at the boading school and the posters on the school say "School Dance, featuring a surprize band")

(Inside the scool, decorations are everyone, kids are dressed properly for the dance and the Code lyoko kids are seen in the middle of the crowd of kids)

Ulrich: I wonder which band is it this time?

Odd: I think it'll be Dokken this time

Jeremy: Nah, they said they'll perform at a school dance next time

Yumi: I just hope it's not Jim

Ulrich: (Sees the band) Hey i know that band

Jeremy: Who are they?

(They see the band and they were none other than the popular 80's band Huey Lewis and the News)

Odd: Hey it's Huey Lewis

(The band is up on stage and Huey is meeting a few kids)

Jeremy: Where's Ulrich? (His mobile phone rings) Hello?

(Ulrich is outside talking to Jeremy)

Ulrich: Bad news, Xana is at it again

Jeremy: We're on our way, let's go

(They ran off and the headmaster talks to Huey)

Headmaster: Okay, we're all ready Mr, Huey

Huey: Ok, (Talks in the microphone) Ok this is it; we're here!

(Odd, Ulrich and Yumi go inside the scanners)

Huey: I know how you kids worked on these decorations for the dance, i'm proud this looks like hard work doesn't it?

(Back at the factory with Jeremy on the super-computer)

Jeremy: Scanner Odd

(Back at the dance)

Huey: I hope you kids are ready dance

(Back athe factory)

Jeremy: Scanner Ulrich

(Back at the dance)

Huey: So let's start with our first song

(Back the factory)

Jeremy: Scanner Yumi

(Back at the dance)

Huey: Our popular single, The Power of Love

(Back the factory)

Jeremy: Virtualization

(The kids are virtualized)

(Then the song starts as the "Return to the past" thing starts already then it reverts back where it begins at a normal day at the boarding school)

(The kids are sound asleep then they all wake up and Jeremy wakes up then the band plays in the halls and the kids don't notice as they walk out from their rooms)

The power of love is a curious thing
Make a one man weep, make another man sing
Change a hawk to a little white dove
More than a feeling that’s the power of love

(Jeremy talks to Aelita before he goes to his classroom)

Tougher than diamonds, rich like cream
Stronger and harder than a bad girl’s dream
Make a bad one good make a wrong one right
Power of love that keeps you home at night

(Jeremy walks out from his room)

Don’t need money, don’t take fame
Don’t need no credit card to ride this train
It’s strong and it’s sudden and it’s cruel sometimes
But it might just save your life
That’s the power of love,

(Jeremy goes to the cafeteria for breakfast)

That’s the power of love

(Then he meets his friends as Ulrich talks to Yumi)

First time you feel it, it might make you sad
Next time you feel it it might make you mad
But you’ll be glad baby when you’ve found
That’s the power makes the world go’round

(Sissy gets jealous as she looks at Ulrich talking to Yumi)

don’t take money, don’t take fame
Don’t need no credit card to ride this train
It’s strong and it’s sudden it can be cruel sometimes
But it might just save your life

(Over the hours they're inside their classrooms)

They say that all in love is fair
Yeah, but you don’t care
But you know what to do
When it gets hold of you
And with a little help from above
You feel the power of love

(After the students leave their last classroom, Xana comes and take form of the poisonous gas in science class)

feel the power of love

(In Lyoko, Aelita feels pulsations)

Can you feel it?
Hmmm

(Rock Guitar solo)

(Aelita warns Jerey about what Xana's doing next)

(Yumi notices the students getting poisoned by the gas)

(Jeremy calls Odd, Ulrich and Yumi to come to the factory)

(They're inside the sewers and Odd, Ulrich and Yumi get on their skateboards)

(And Jeremy gets on his scooter)

(They're now inside the factory)

(They get inside the elevator)

(Jeremy gets on the super computer)

(Ulrich Yumi and Odd go inside the scanners)

(They're now virtualized)

(And now they're inside Lyoko and they meet Aelita)

(Now they see Xana's robots and they start to attack them and they try to get Aelita to the activated tower)

don’t take money, don’t take fame

(Aelita goes inside the activate tower)

Don’t need no credit card to ride this train
Tougher than diamonds and stronger than steel

(Aelita de-activates it and again, the "Return to the past" thing starts again and now it reverts back to the dance where the band performs the song)

You won’t feel it until you feel
You feel the power, feel the power of love
That’s the power, that’s the power of love

You feel the power of love

You feel the power of love

You feel the power of love

(The song finishes as Jeremy, Odd, Ulrich and Yumi made it back to the dance)

Odd: Ah man, we missed it!

Huey: Do any of you kids want to hear the song again?

All: Yeah!

Huey: Ok, let's do it again

Jeremy: At least we'll hear the song now

(The Vid-Fic ends)

Note: If you want to hear the song the Power of Love by Huey and Lewis and the news, find the Back to the Future CD at Amazon.com

[Barb Gordon]

Very interesting.
I might suggest running your work through a Word program or something. In general you have very very few spelling errors, but there were a few in this one, that would have been caught by a word processor.
Your style is always in script format, which is nice, but have you ever thought of expanding from that? Go for paragraphs of descriptions, character details, etc?

~Barb

[sebastian1]

No comment

[Kylewayne]

"No comment"? Please explain or else I will take that as being rude and disrespectful. We are being nice in trying to help you to improve your writing style but seems you disregard everyones constructive critisim. A story board isn't a place to always get praises. You must earn them.

[Barb Gordon]

Sebastion1, no offense hon, but you need to post more than "no comment".
I find that a very rude and offensive thing to write, and I know you've done it before to others who are just offering nice constructive criticisms. We are just trying to give advice. You don't have to like it or take it, but you should be more respectable to your peers.
The Story Board isn't just a place for you to post stories and get happy feedback all the time. It's a place of learning and of gaining new and better skills, just like at The Drawing Board. You are going to get criticisms, many times, from many different people. It's to help make you a better writer. People are just offering advice, and it's very rude of you to just snub them off with "no comment". Your reviewers deserve more than that. Why do you think people don't want to read your stories or leave feedback? You're rude to anything they have to say to you, and they're just trying to be nice. Why are you posting here if you can't stomach getting advice and responding properly to it?

~Barb

[TimTwoFace]

I concurr with what the two friendly Story Board mods have suggested. I see you have plenty of great ideas here, but your big, big problem is the formatting on the page. It's very difficult to follow when your stories are written in what is basically a series of jot notes and bits of dialogue.

As I posted in that Crazy Cartoon Capers IV thread, I'm posting you a link that may give you some help with placing your words on the page. You're obviously not going for prose (short stories and whatnot) - it's more akin to screenwriting and screenplays. Hopefully the link I've supplied will help you out with the proper style for your work.

(I know that everything on the link is centred, and when posting work on the TZ Forums some formatting (like centring, sizes, bold, etc) gets lost, but generally speaking, it'll make your work a hell of a lot clearer, easier to follow, and thus, more people will be able to read it without getting headaches.)

http://www.pubinfo.vcu.edu/artweb/playwriting/screenformatpg.html

Remember, we're not doing this to get on your case, here. We're doing this to help you, and if it's visually appealing on the page, believe me, a lot more people would be willing to read this, too. :)

-Tim

[sebastian1]

I wasn't trying to be rude, i said no comment and that's it.

[Jave]

I wasn't trying to be rude, i said no comment and that's it.But you make it sound like you're being rude. I've noticed you made that kind of replies to Tim and Silverknight in your other thread as well. You should give thanks to people that are actually reading your story and giving you tips on how to improve.

Either that, or don't reply at all. It's better than making a post that sounds offensive, even if it's not your intention.

[sebastian1]

I say no comment because they make me think they hate my writing format.

[SilverKnight]

Please point out when any person here outright said "I hate your writing format". If any of us point out anything we dislike about the particular format, it's because it's interfering with the story and our enjoyment of it. In concept, any story format can work, but it's the details that will make or break it. Screenplay is no different. Your spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors are killing your writing because those small problems will add up, and eventually they overshadow what's good about the fanfic and make it a chore to read. Hate to be the bearer of bad news, dude, but I'm calling it like I see it.

And by the way, "no comment" is rude. I suppose it's better than flaming, but you're implying that our opinion isn't worth an actual reply. That's ignoring. Ignoring is rude. I don't like being ignored. I doubt you do, either. So, try to be a teensy bit more respectful in the future. Thanks.

[sebastian1]

In my writing format way, Screenplay format is easier; paragraph formats are very hard to do and sorry i had to say "No comment" it was the only answer i could think of to say and so what i made a few errors it doesn't matter.

[Barb Gordon]

Hon, when it comes down to it, if you can't say anything nice, then you probably shouldn't say anything at all.
Your "no comment" quips are plain rude, even if you don't comprehend it that way. It's like saying "Yeah I see what you're saying, but I don't like it or your comments". If you can't say anything constructive to say to our comments, then I sincerely suggest you just not post anything at all...You say you want feedback, and we give feedback, but to us we're only get mean remarks for our efforts. None of us are going to want to be nice if you keep coming off so rude....whether you really mean to or not.
Feedback is not always going to be singing your praises Sebastian1, feedback is supposed to help you in whatever way possible. If you have issues taking constructive criticism, then you're going to need to change your attitude, fast.
The Story Board, like the Drawing Board is here for artists of different fields to show off their work and recieve comments and feedback on their work and participate in discussions. If you can't accept that, then you should really be posting your stories elsewhere, like FF.net....even though you will recieve criticisms and feedback there as well, though perhaps not as much because it works as an archive more than here. The Story Board is not an archive for your stories to be kept and just left here; you will recieve feedback, good and critical, when you post at this board.
We're trying to help you, this is supposed to be a board for everyone to better their varying writing skills, to take chances trying different styles and methods. You shouldn't stay away from something just because it's "hard".

~Barb

[SilverKnight]

In my writing format way, Screenplay format is easier; paragraph formats are very hard to do and sorry i had to say "No comment" it was the only answer i could think of to say and so what i made a few errors it doesn't matter.Actually, no, it does matter. You make a mistake, someone is going to tell you about it, whether you like it or not. It's not to be mean, it's to help you become aware of some problematic tendencies in order to improve them. You may be happy writing your little screenplay format stories about a thousand talking heads, but a little improvement could make them readable (and more importantly, enjoyable) for other people, also.

[sebastian1]

Well, i don't care because nothing will change my mind about my screenplay format or anything.

[James]

Well, i don't care because nothing will change my mind about my screenplay format or anything.Then you will never grow as a writer.

Sorry, I tried to read it - I really tried. I'm sure it's got some good things in there, but at the moment, I can't - simple. The format is unattractive - inaccessible. If I am willing to spend some of my valuble time reading what you've done, you should be willing to spend time to make it as presentable to read as possible.

Change your mind implies you think this is a good format. Newsflash - it's not. It's not helping you. All your good ideas are wasted. Especially if you won't listen to people who try to help you.

You are doing yourself no justice whatsoever - in fact you are sounding a little pigheaded about accepting critical advise. Be the bigger man, and just listen to opinion. Question it if need be, but show some effort to prove you value people's input more than you value your own ego.

Sorry to be so harsh, but you aren't doing yourself any favours. Wonder why other writers don't present their work like this? Think about it...

[kat_meditating]

Well, i don't care because nothing will change my mind about my screenplay format or anything.

hey dude, sorry but if you don't want to change than maybe you aren't cut out to write. don't kill me yet just hear me out.

i write because i love to. i like it when people praise my work but i like it when people say it sucks even more. i accept cryticism with an open heart. i want to become the best i can be no matter what. every month i try to write better than i did the month before. i like this challenge alot.

however this is jsut me. but if you dont' want to improve your wrtitting maybe you will axcel at a something different like drawing acting sports ya da ya da ya da. sorry babe, but critism is a major part of writing and if you aren't ready to accept that then maybe it is time to work on something else.

[TimTwoFace]

If you aren't willing to change your, at the very least, try things in a different way at least for a short while, you'll never improve and diversify your writing abilities.

Back when I was in high school, I write generally in the same style as I do today (though not as well), but one thing I was horrible with was OVERwriting. It's easy to write way too much, rather than keep things succinct. I was throwing in so much vivid (but unnecessary) detail that my stories were getting bogged down and tough to digest. And even though I like the basic ideas of my stories from high school - 10 years ago (eeek!), I know that if I were to express those ideas today, I'd do so in a much different fashion. I know it's tough to swallow your pride and look beyond something that you think is working out OK, but seriously - just try it for a while, and see if you can get into the swing of things.

Hey, maybe you're just writing for fun, and that's all good. Feel free to keep posting in the same style as you are, just don't expect many people to read them in the state they are cuz, honestly, and I'm truly not trying to sound mean or anything, but it is a bit of a chore. We're not all attacking you here just for fun - we're trying to make you better so you'll be even more appreciative of your work. And you could do the exact same back to us when we post stuff of our own.

That's what this site is all about - constructive criticism when something isn't working and in-depth praise when there is success. No one's perfect. No writer is ever going to be perfect, as they're always looking for ways to continue to improve their own writing. And that likely goes for every person here.

-Tim

[sebastian1]

Alright! I'll accept the critizism but i'm still doing screenplay format.

[MahouShoujo13]

Uhh...okay...

Can you put more detail? I mean, screenplay is okay but you have to put more details.

And on how you reacted to other writers and mods and their critism, you were acting childish and rude.

I've tried reading it, and sorry, but it really isn't that good. Do more detail. Screenplay form is nice, but I like paragraph form better. It gives you a feel of the surroundings and story and flows like a river.

Yours, yeah, it flows...like an almost dried up stream.

Writers usually write in papragraph form, and put a lot of detail.

And no, it's not actually called a vid-fic, it's actually called a SONG FIC. I've seen a lot of those in FF.net. Some of them turned out to fit to the song and is really nice.

Also try going to FF.net, as I see there's a lot of bad writers as there is good ones. Sure, you get feedback, but since the stories are archieved, when your story goes to another page, it's swept in the dust until you update. Your stories there that weren't updated in a long time and ones that are just one-shot only could only be seen from your profile there.

So stop being a kid about this. Try to develop your writing skills. Put some detail into it (don't put too little, like what you did, or too much). Accept critism. Every writer has to go through that. If you don't, then your writing skills will never grow.

Peace out.

[LightShadow1890]

Alright, alright. Okay, I see you're being a bit rude to the mods. They're right. If you can't take critism, you can't grow. I have to take critism every day from my mom due to my drawings (yes, I draw) and my piano playing. We all have to take critism. We all can't be spoiled to death.

And your story: Fine, fine, but please put more details, please. And try looking at other works.

If you don't want to change your format, fine. But please, listen to all of us. We're either mods or other writers. Try paragraph form. It's sometimes easy to do.

I am looking forward to see your other works.

LightShadow1890

PS: Like MahuoShojo said, its a SONGFIC, not a VIDEOFIC! I've even tried one. To make it cooler, make all the lyrics in Align Center and Italic.

Bye!

:anime:

[sebastian1]

Actually, i created Vid-Fics, they're like Song-Fics only different; They feature bands, sometimes the band interacts with the characters of a Tv Show/cartoon, and they can sometimes have chorus in the Rock song Vid-Fics.

[SilverKnight]

Actually, i created Vid-Fics, they're like Song-Fics only different; They feature bands, sometimes the band interacts with the characters of a Tv Show/cartoon, and they can sometimes have chorus in the Rock song Vid-Fics.So, wait. Let me get this straight. You write a fic that involves the band singing the song and ocassionaly interacting with the characters? ...I'd bring into question if you actually 'created' it or not, but I doubt any other writer I know would even touch that kind of story concept. To each their own, I guess.

By the way, if the band doesn't interact, it's a song-fic.

[sebastian1]

The Vid-Fics are my creation and they're a new type of Fics to write.

[MahouShoujo13]

The Vid-Fics are my creation and they're a new type of Fics to write.
Really? Well....I'll try doing that, I mean, I did want to write something like that. But, I'd rather ask the band's permission before writing it.

[SilverKnight]

The Vid-Fics are my creation and they're a new type of Fics to write.Do you make it a sport to ignore everything a person says to you, or is it just a natural talent? Fine, it's 'your creation', but if the band doesn't do that whole 'let's interact with the characters' thing--and don't even get me started on how wrong that concept even is--then it is a song fic. Plain and simple. Sorry to hammer that in, but your pigheadedness is becoming tiresome. All hail the 'vid-fic'. Whatever.

[sebastian1]

To Silverknight: Hold on, in order to do Vid-Fics you must have the lyrics first and you have to put them in some scenes.

[Jave]

So, wait. Let me get this straight. You write a fic that involves the band singing the song and ocassionaly interacting with the characters? ...I'd bring into question if you actually 'created' it or not, but I doubt any other writer I know would even touch that kind of story concept. To each their own, I guess.

By the way, if the band doesn't interact, it's a song-fic.
That concept has been used before by the Farrely Brothers in a couple of their films, like "There's Something About Mary".

[sebastian1]

Let me explain what a Vid-Fic is again


It's like a song-fic only different, it's a combination of a music video and a song fic.

[SilverKnight]

Let me explain what a Vid-Fic is again


It's like a song-fic only different, it's a combination of a music video and a song fic.And how, exactly, how do you add parts of a music video into a fanfic? If you're talking about having sections of the lyrics between scenes or sections of paragraph to illustrate the point and reason for using the song, that, my friend, is a SONG FIC. I've done the same, myself. Ergo, you created jack squat. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.

[sebastian1]

In my Vid-Fics, i can have the bands to perform anywhere in a Vid-Fic.

[SilverKnight]

In my Vid-Fics, i can have the bands to perform anywhere in a Vid-Fic.You officially lost me. I don't see the difference.

I think you just like saying "Vid-Fic". :p

[Jave]

In my Vid-Fics, i can have the bands to perform anywhere in a Vid-Fic.What is that supposed to mean?

[sebastian1]

It means, the band can be anywhere in one of my Vid-Fics just like a music video does and Silverknight, the Vid-Fic is my creation so i can say it anytime i want.

[SilverKnight]

It means, the band can be anywhere in one of my Vid-Fics just like a music video does and Silverknight, the Vid-Fic is my creation so i can say it anytime i want.Never said ya couldn't, bud. Go wild. :p

[sebastian1]

Hey Silverknight, check out my Fic "The Crazy Cartoon Caper IV: Toon Wars".

[SilverKnight]

Hey Silverknight, check out my Fic "The Crazy Cartoon Caper IV: Toon Wars".Hm, if I recall correctly, my checking out your fic is what started this whole fiasco. Unless, of course, you'd like me to refresh your memory. I have no qualms about repeating myself, given that you have a knack for missing key points of a person's statement, and all. :)

[sebastian1]

What are you talking about?

[SilverKnight]

What are you talking about?Wouldn't you like to know. :p Check out your thread and read the response I already gave, sweety. You know I already replied, don't you? >smiles< But, if that's too much for you, I have no problems at all with reiterating myself. In fact, I'd enjoy it. Just let me know, dearie. :)

[Kylewayne]

What are you talking about?
This link below might refresh your memory:
http://forums.toonzone.net/showpost.php?p=1270524&postcount=25

and this:
http://forums.toonzone.net/showpost.php?p=1271710&postcount=26

[sebastian1]

Ok, my memory's refreshed but i don't care and Silverknight, why do you like to torment and torture people?

[SilverKnight]

Ok, my memory's refreshed but i don't care and Silverknight, why do you like to torment and torture people?Ha. You're funny. Keep it up. >hands him cookies<

[sebastian1]

This leaves me no choice


Go F*** your mother you little punk.

Sorry Toon Zone Users, Silverknight pushed me too far.