Scenes From A Hat: Things You Shouldn't Say/Do At Your Graduation Ceremony

[candy17]

Graduation time is almost upon us. For college students, it's already here, but the high schoolers (at least where I live) have to wait until June to go from carefree high school seniors to freshmen on whatever path they choose in life (college, work force, military, etc). In light of this, I came up with many ways one should not ruin this special occasion. Feel free to add more.

Light the valedictorian's gown on fire with "The Light of Wisdom"

Take your diploma in your left hand and flip the bird to the dean/principal with your right.

Rig the stage so that way the failing students who think they passed will be dropped through the floor.

Place the tassle from right to left on the principal's "graduation stripper".

Play "Pomp and Circumstance" with your armpit (or failing that, a cheap, dollar-store kazoo)

Sneeze and wipe your nose on the salutatorian's (sp?) gown

If you're valedictorian, it's not wise to include that you couldn't have passed your anatomy exam with some "after school help" from the teacher.

[Brandon Pierce]

go streaking

[Vyse]

Saying, "Kids, your diplomas mean jack ****. They're pointless."

Pull a silent, but deadly in front of the dean/principal.

Instead of a cap and gown, show up wearing in a t-shirt and pants featuring colors from another school, your sneakers, and a trucker hat.

[Tobias]

To the principal/teachers:

"Well, I guess since you let me pass I can take you off the list ."

[Lord Dalek]

Valedictorian: "And now a brief list of all the people I had to step on to get to this position..."

[turbomog007]

To the principle/guy giving out diplomas:

"You mean I graduated there must be a mistake"
"me so happy me learned here so good"

[shogunthethird]

Stink-palm the principal (Kevin Smith fans, you know what I'm talking about)

pay the band to play "I'm too sexy" and start stripping when your name is called

"I'd like to thank my study group, Jack daniels, Jim Beam and Johnnie Walker"

[Anime 51]

"I guess I can let the truth be known now; my teachers helped me cheat all the way through high school in exchange for sex!"

[Alex Toon]

pay the band to play "I'm too sexy" and start stripping when your name is called
[I'm Too Sexy by Right Said Fred plays]
Teacher: Will Alextoon please come to the stage?
{Alex starts SNL Haddaway head-banging and pants fly off.} :p

[Dimension]

I dare you to start up the avatar raiting thread again, i need some fast posts :D

IGNORE THIS!!!! I THOUGHT IT WAS THE TRUTH OR DARE THREAD


-Dimension

[Mr. Pedro]

-Brag about how you finished with a 3.8 GPA while getting Ds in Algebra class.

-Make light of your Principal's weight problem.

-Rant on about the futillity of Algebra in general.

-Give a speech about how you plan to party after graduation by getting liquored up with a half-dozen of your best buddies and crashing your brand new car into your neighboor's front porch.

-*If you're a jock* Thank your coaches, team mates, nerds you bullied into making them give you exam answers, and the benevolent souls who graciously donated their urine for your drug tests.

-*If you're a nerd* Thank all of the jocks for not killing you, and tell the crowd that you whipped Poindexter's ass in Chess club.

-*If you're a cheerleader* Ask which one of the jocks left their toothbrush and undies at your house.

-*If you're a goth* Tell everyone that life sucks and that they can all die. Quickly follow that up with a sugary-sweet "Just Kidding!".

-*If you're a stoner* Tell everyone that you have people to thank, but you just lit one up in the restroom five minutes ago and now you can't remember.

-*If your HS life was loveless* Walk around and find every single girl that you liked but they always turned you down or refused to give you the time of day. Give them a really long and thorough "hug".

[Vyse]

If you're a white valedictorian in an all-black school: "WESTSIDE! G-G-G-G-UNIT!"

[Alex Toon]

Play any Prince song as your graduation song or yelll BURN!!!!! really loudly and burn a book :D

[Mibbitmaker]

Re-enact the parade scene from Animal House

One of the peices of music the band played at my high school graduation was the patriotic tune used as the Monty Python theme. If this happens at your graduation, yell out, "AAAAAAALBATROSS!!"

Start your speech with, "C'mon, people, we all know the principal looks like Orville Redenbacher! Just say it and get it over with already!"

:moon: :moon2: Anything these guys may say or do would be bad at a graduation. Or anyplace. :D

"YOU'RE OUT OF ORDER! YOU'RE OUT OF ORDER! THE WHOLE SCHOOL'S OUT OF ORDER!!"

(If you're the principal/dean) "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome, please, the comencement speaker for today, Osama bin Laden!"

(If you're the valedictorian) "I'm taking over the school right now! Who's with me?"

Richard Nixon is alive and well, and he's announcing that he's the new principal!!! :eek: :eek: :eek: