Personal Space

[Barb Gordon]

Any have personal space issues? I've always been intrigued in the personal space concepts of people and how it differs depending on the person and the culture. I remember a professor telling before about how Americans have major space issues, but someone say from the Middle East does not, and how that can cause problems when two such people from two such opposite cultures meet. One has no problem being super closer to the other person, whereas that other person feels their space has been invaded upon, and thus feel severely threatened.
Anyone ever experienced or seen this themselves?

~Barb

[Nimbleness]

Beleive me if anyone is going to be getting on another persons nerves or threatening their space its me. Though this morning was one of those rare occasions when its the other way around. My friend Kevin kept taking my pencil and putting it his mouth; so I grabbed it back and stabbed him with it, and put my head back down. I could hear him yelling "hey, he stabbed me!", but nobody did anything about it which I was grateful for (weapon offense there).

Another thing that really ticks me off is when people take or ask for some of anothers lunch. FRRACHEN BEGGERS LET ME EAT IN PEACE. HIAZSSSSZZZZ. It makes me so mad I want to crap my pants. It's common courtesy to wait first if you're offered. I haven't eaten lunch in almost 3 days because I end up throwing it at someone in frustration which worsens the fact I don't have time to eat breakfest. I almost couldn't move a pencil or even walk the other day, because I was so beyond exhausted.

Useless fact: I had to write this post twice, because the first time I was about to hit post when my foot hit the power switch.

[guinaevere]

Yes.

No question. I'm VERY big about respecting a persons personal space, as I take offense when others don't respect mine.

I can't tell you how completely bonkers I get when I'm standing looking at something in a shop or museum, and someone comes and stands right on top of me. Gah!! Have some class, back up a step or two.

I've always been like this. I'm the same with guys (pals/co workers) who'd come up and want to massage my shoulders or something... I dislike that familiarity and make no apologies for it.

[TimTwoFace]

I need my own personal space - I've been spoiled enough to be the only kid in my house to have his own bedroom since birth, and I realize that, dang it, I need this.

When in public places, I tend to like my personal bubble space too, especially at work. I hate being crowded when working the till - especially since half the guys there are huge and could crush me like a bug if they lost their footing. :sad:

Pray for me.

-Tim

[Ed Liu]

Howdy,

Personal space is a situational thing for me. My definition of personal space is pretty different in a wide open park or an office than it is on the PATH trains or the New York City subways at rush hour. What would be no huge deal on the latter can be an extreme invasion of personal space in the former. On mass transit, personal space often becomes more of a state of mind than an actual physical reality. Irrational, yes, but maybe the knowledge that nobody else around me is actively trying to invade my space and that I'm invading theirs equally makes it all OK. To a lesser extent, the same thing happens in dorms or apartment buildings.

I'm also a lot more willing to let someone I know invade my personal space than someone I don't, with some people (my wife, my brother, my parents, and my niece and nephew) granted the right to invade at will.

-- Ed/Ace

[purplehairedwonder]

I hate it when people invade my personal space (or as I call it, my personal bubble). Like my friends have a tendency to go through my bag of pens before class starts and it bugs me since they don't ask. And when people bump into you when there is plenty of room around. I hate it.

Another example was today in class. The girl behind me scooted her desk so the front of her desk was pushing on the back of mine. It totally made me feel claustrophobic. It's my personal bubble, so stay out of it.

[Barb Gordon]

Yeah the food thing bugs me from time to time. My grandma does it often, but she's my grandma so I can't get mad at her, you know? But it just seems so rude when you bring something out to eat and someone else, probably not even hungry, comes over and says "oh can I have some?". That comment is no biggie, but when coupled with the action of already grabbing said food and putting it in their mouth it is so rude and annoying. Yeah sure, you already shoved it down your throat, so why not have it. Augh.
Otherwise I'm fine for the most part. I mean in crowds the rules are different. you can't go around with a sign around your neck reading "Give me space", in a crowd you don't tend to mind if someone brushes against you or you squeeze past someone blocking your way. Sometimes in new situations like at a party or something you might feel uncomfortable when someone enters you "space" and it makes you feel uneasy and not enjoy yourself.
I guess for some people and cultures, close contact with others is normally reserved for those you know well and have a great affection towards - family, close friends, lover. So when someone not in those categories enters that reserved space, it's like "uh hello, back off!"

~Barb

[Fone Bone]

I have OCD, am claustrophic, and don't like to be touched. I have a hard time going out in public because of this. I'm not a shut-in but I only go out when I need to. I have a personal bubble that I don't like people to violate and the people I know respect this. It used to be much worse when I was living with other people.

[Classic Speedy]

Again I'm on the college soapbox. You stick two (or even three) people in a room that's the size of your bedroom at home, possibly even smaller, and the issue of personal space gets more important. You don't have it, plain and simple. I know what you'll probably say- "How else do you expect to fit 2,000+ students on a campus?" I don't know, honestly. But dorm life still irks me.

[Barb Gordon]

lol, I totally understand that. yay for living at home during college! Granted I readily admit I miss out on certain experiences of college life that are quite nice....but I went into a friend's dorm room once early in the year and hightailed it out as quickly as I could. I couldn't believe how many students they were trying to fit in these little holes.

~Barb

[Outlander00]

Personally, I dont have personal space issues... Im a firm believer of mi casa, su casa and anything else associated, though I do respect someone elses need for personal space.

Given that, however, the only thing get quite angry over (in term of personal space and things used) is when someone else uses my computer... and that pretty much stems from college when one of my room mates used it all the time without permission (i knew it was being used when I kept getting kicked off ICQ at work with the message "This account is currently being used by another computer"). I only let selected, close friends use it and thats it! I dont even let my parents or family use it even. Luckily, Windows 2K has that password function so I make sure that never occurs :D

[Classic Speedy]

Given that, however, the only thing get quite angry over (in term of personal space and things used) is when someone else uses my computer... and that pretty much stems from college when one of my room mates used it all the time without permission (i knew it was being used when I kept getting kicked off ICQ at work with the message "This account is currently being used by another computer"). I only let selected, close friends use it and thats it! I dont even let my parents or family use it even. Luckily, Windows 2K has that password function so I make sure that never occurs :D You too, eh? I had that last year, and it sucked. Whose computer is it here?! Luckily this year all my roommates had their OWN computers, but I password-locked mine anyway. :sweat:

[Tapout]

Fortunately I don't have any friends and still live at home (shocking, I know) so it doesn't happen often, but one of the few things that upset me are when people get into my stuff without asking. I don't know, maybe it comes from the fact that I don't have a lot so what I do have is mine. Maybe I'm just an a-hole.

[SilverKnight]

I despise being touched. If it's family or close friends, I don't necessarily mind a hug or rough-housing (family only, in that case), but I draw the line there. I also severely dislike people snooping through my artbooks without my permission. When my mother colored over one of my pictures, I was ready to kill. I find those kinds of things a violation of my privacy, not to mention rude. It's my stuff, don't fricken touch it.

[Mr. Pedro]

It all depends.

I'm okay for the most part. My family knows to respect each other's space for the most part (although we do have a seven year-old little monster who will attempt to kick your room door down while you're trying to take a nap). I do have to let some folks into my room occasionally, but there's never more than one visitor in my room at a time. I'm not too troubled if I find myself in a crowded area with strangers, since they're probably too preoccupied with the crowd anyways.

A word of advice though, be extremely careful if you try to approach me from behind. I simply go insane when I get blindsided like that. I'm also not to keen on store employees keeping me company for extended periods of time. I understand that it's their job to ask if I need help with finding something. I have no problem with that. However, if I'm in a jewelry store and five guys in suits are starring me down without saying a word, that's when I head for the door.

[Kury Wagner]

My feelings about personal space:

Stay out of mine, and I'll stay out of yours. :D

I don't like people touching me, even family. Don't touch my hair, or arm, or anything. That, that just gets on my nerves. I have a bad habit of doing that to other people, though. I'll go up to my sister Amanda, and touch her hair (she had it dyed green, and that's why I touched it.) Or I'll walk through a crowd, and purposely bump into a guy that looks cute (yeah, I'm a little shallow. But just a little. I often find myself liking the geeker guys. I hate big muscles.)

[WingZombie38]

My personal space can only be violated by my close friends and family. But even then it depends on my mood. Sometimes I'll have days when I'll "freak out" if something is done against my wishes or without asking me.

When it comes to the subway here, it's just as Ace the Bathound mentioned.

[James]

My need for personal space dwindled slightly this year - having spent it with so many international students - particularly Spanish ones.

This last semester it disappeared greatly indeed with parties with a Spanish atmos it meant that people were very close to either other and sometimes to the point where boundaries were hard to define. :p

I liked it. I've been brought up in a family which doesn't touch. I can't recall ever touching my dad on the arm or shoulder let alone hugging him. Same for my sister and mother. It's just how we are. So when I met the Spanish I embraced this chance to remove this barrier a little.

Will it change again? Probably - especially if people in England find it hard to deal with. :)

[Slash Tompson]

My need for personal space dwindled slightly this year - having spent it with so many international students - particularly Spanish ones.

This last semester it disappeared greatly indeed with parties with a Spanish atmos it meant that people were very close to either other and sometimes to the point where boundaries were hard to define. :p

I liked it. I've been brought up in a family which doesn't touch. I can't recall ever touching my dad on the arm or shoulder let alone hugging him. Same for my sister and mother. It's just how we are. So when I met the Spanish I embraced this chance to remove this barrier a little.

Will it change again? Probably - especially if people in England find it hard to deal with. :)

Pst! Unless they're actually from Spain, we'd much rather 'hispanic' or 'latin'

[Elven Moon]

I have to have my own personal space, or else I get upset. This is why I don't handle crowds well - I have been known to mutter that I need a cattle prod to get these people to spread out. I do not like it when people go through my things, especially without my permission, like my purse or a drawer. I also don't like sharing food with people (unless we divided it up from the start and separated our halves) as it's unsanitary and gross to me, and it doesn't matter if you're a close friend or family member.

Yep.

[James]

Pst! Unless they're actually from Spain, we'd much rather 'hispanic' or 'latin'
Pst! They were from Spain! :p

[Lucky Bob]

I'm not the touchy-feely type. I'm a social person, and I don't mind people going through my stuff, but I get uncomfortable in close situations. My Mom has faulted me for this many times. She wonders what I will do when I marry.

My response? "I'll get used to it."

[David the Joker]

I'm a touchy-feeling type guy. However I hate when people touch my stuff, especially in my bedroom. My personal space comes to play in crowds. I hate crowds. I met one of my best friends because of our hatred of crowds. It was the first day of freshman yr of highschool (fall of 1998). I walked into to school, I see everyone hugging and stuff, so I turned around to see this big guy and said "I hate crowds" and he said "Me too" and it was a friendship in the making. He is one of my best friends to this day.

[Kury Wagner]

[Kury Wagner]

[guinaevere]

LOL! Great post there, Sam. :D


but one of the few things that upset me are when people get into my stuff without asking. I don't know, maybe it comes from the fact that I don't have a lot so what I do have is mine. Maybe I'm just an a-hole. While not knowing you, I can't say if you're a jerk or not, but I can totally understand your wish for respect of your personal stuff. Especially, as growing up, I didn't have much, either, so I can empathize with how it feels when you actually have something which is yours.

I remember an episode during Junior High school. I had gone with Mom & Dad to an Indian (native american) shop, and Mom had treated me to a bracelet that cost something like $5 or $6. Nothing terribly expensive, but she bought it for me. When a person buys something for me, it means a lot to me. So anyway, I wore it to school that monday. And by Second Period, I noticed it was gone. It had slipped off my wrist... so I hoofed it back to HomeRoom and First period... nothing. Some week or so later, I had found out some girl had picked it up and taken it... a teacher made an appointment for me and this girl at the principals office, and the girl said she threw it out, because she didn't like it or it was too big for her wrist, too... that broke my heart. She threw out something that my Mom had bought for me. Stuff like that is very hard for me to deal with...


I despise being touched. If it's family or close friends, I don't necessarily mind a hug or rough-housing (family only, in that case), but I draw the line there. I'm so happy to hear other people feel the same way as I do. I can't tell you the faces I've seen as I've told people, "don't touch me" as they'd put an arm around me or something...


I also severely dislike people snooping <SNIP> I find those kinds of things a violation of my privacy, not to mention rude. It's my stuff, don't fricken touch it. Again, I hear you. It's kinda difficult for me, I'm 30, and take care of my Mum. It's a mothers natural inclination, I guess, to go through her kids rooms. But I just can't deal with that. Which is probably the underlying reason why I've kept my bedroom a complete and total mess over the past years... she's afraid to even enter, not to mention poke around. :D


purposely bump into a guy that looks cute (yeah, I'm a little shallow. But just a little. I often find myself liking the geeker guys. I hate big muscles.) ha! It would definately be fun to hang out with you, Sam! Just as long as you get me a guy with big muscles. :D (I'm a little shallow, too. :sweat: )

[Nick Biped]

I'm not especially a touchy-feely person. If people get a bit too close to me, I get uncomfortable. I also don't care too much for people going through my personal stuff. It's funny, though. In cases where you have to be right next to others (like on a crowded bus), it doesn't really bother me.

[HumanoidTyphoon]

I don’t like:

When people seem to have to get in your right up in your face to talk to you.

Large crowds.

People going through my stuff and moving it around. I’ve had a number of things stolen and get kind of paranoid if something isn’t where it usually is.

People who ask to eat something of yours after they’ve already started eating it or if they just don’t ask period....I generally don’t like sharing food with anyone.

and if someone is going to touch me at all I'd like not to be surprised...

[True Noir]

I am also one of those people that needs a lot of space. I don't like people all breathing over me. I find it very annoying. The only people that I actually let get close to me are my good friends and family.

[BrendaBat]

It used to bother me when my french teacher would get really close to talk to me. But, after being in her class for four years, I got over it (mostly because Madame G was just so darn lovable) :D .

My personal space rules vary depending on who I'm with. I'm a very touchy-feely person with my friends and family. Strangers have to stay out of my personal space bubble.

The only thing I'm wierd about is letting my family members into my room. because they like to "borrow" money and/or stuff when I'm not there. Seriously, there are times when I open my wallet to find an IOU from my mother where money is supposed to be! She always pays me back but it still pisses me off :rolleyes:

[Pilmedium]

While I dislike crowds, and label any group of five or more people very close together a "mob scene," that is not what bothers me most. I feel very uncomfortable if I am doing something that I do not want anyone to see, and then one person, usually a family member, goes within sight of me. The only explanation for that is that my father believes that all of my stuff is his; my mother condemns my complaints, and my sibling is secretly nosey. Also, I hate being touched by anyone for any reason. In all of those cases, it would not really matter who the person is or who the people are.

[BohemenIdeal]

personal space isn't much of an issue with me all depends on the person I guess.