What do you use body moisturizer for?

[Master Moron]

You know I have the Calvin Klein Eternity gift set and in it is this body moisturizer. Unfortunately there's no directions for how you use it. I mean, do I use it in the shower, after the shower, and where exactly on my body am I supposed to put it? I'd ask my friends for advice but body moisturizer sounds kind of fruity so I figure I'd better keep the fact that I use it to myself. I'd go to the Calvin Klein website but I can't find it. Does anyone know what the hell I'm supposed to do with this stuff?

[randomguy]

Um... I could give you an answer, but I won't.

But I'd really like to. Cause it'd be funny.

[Allen's Nickname.]

Agreed. It would be pretty funny.

Knee-slappingly funny, if I say so myself.

[RD!]

I moisturize my body.

Baby.

[Chris Wood]

I'm sure your significant other can come up with lots of creative uses.

[guinaevere]

Does anyone know what the hell I'm supposed to do with this stuff? I'm sure it's fragrant, right? I'd recommend using it where you like using it. So put it where it feels good on your skin, and where you like your skin to smell like.. um.. Calvin Klein. :sweat:

[Jaguar]

Um... I could give you an answer, but I won't.

But I'd really like to. Cause it'd be funny.*stifles a laugh*

Basically, I guess you just use it like lotion.

[Avery]

*goes all giggly*

Okay, jokes aside, you use body lotion after you shower on any dry skin you might have. Rub it in till it dissapears. Ta-da.

[Lucky Bob]

A body moisturizer is intended for the express purpose of moisturizing one's body. Of course, some people these days can't quite figure this out, because they have trouble with difficult words. (Like: "Body".)

So, they end up smearing it all over their hamburgers like a good'un, thus turning their liver into pate. Then, they sue Calvin Klein for $10,000,000,000,000. Which raises the price of future units of body moisturizer sold. Along with a new warning label stuck on the bottom for the chronically stupid, of course...



WARNING: Not intended for use as a meat tenderizer. Please open from other end.

I need sleep.

[RD!]

How I love innuendo, it's so kafka-esque.

[Tienshin]

Feeling okay there LB?

And yes...body moisturizer...is to be used to moisturize the body. Post Shower.

Either that or as a yogurt substitute.

[Mynd Hed]

Do what Cap'n Brannigan does: squirt it on a homeless man with dry elbows.

[Dark Vicious]

I use it for the 5 finger tango with the one eyed ranger but that's just me.:D

[Classic Speedy]

I don't use moisturizer. My skin's fairly oily all year long.

[Barb Gordon]

[insert laugh here]

Glad everyone got their "ha ha" out of their system. Being cutesty is fun to a point, but otherwise it's just plain pointless. I can't believe how many inside meanings you all had to write just get sex ideas out of your system. Dark Vicious, I will give you credit for being the most interesting yet blatant of them all. Are we done now?

I actually know a few people who look at bath/body products and go "wha?" And nothing confuses me more than when they don't come with directions whatsoever, even super simple ones. Body moisturizers are just for that purpose, they moisturize the body. Some products specifically tell you to use it all over your body or on specific areas, like the heels of your feet, your elbows, your knees, and your hands because those parts of your body get the most wear and tear.

If it didn't come with directions, than use it where you will. If it has a fragrance I'd advise not using it all over your body or excessively because it will be very strong and people wont want to be around you. If you have a part of your body, like your heels, that are rough, cracking, etc., than use it there after you get out of the shower. Sometimes you can choose to put it on twice a day or something, if you really want to get that area smooth again. Using it after the shower is the best because your body is at its cleanest.

Hope that helps.

~Barb

[randomguy]

Sorry, Barb, but it's the inevitable reaction. I don't think it's something to be bothered by- just some lighthearted kidding around. No harm done.

What's a little sexual innuendo amongst friends? It can be fun sometimes...

[Allen's Nickname.]

...if you know what I mean.

(Posted at the risk of looking like a poser.)

[Dark Vicious]

Now that I've gotten the hillariously high innuendo out of my system I have nothing else to say but if you don't use moisterizer for my afromentioned reason then it's probably fordry skin hense the name moisterizer.