Funniest Family Guy moments

**Tobias** · 03-14-2003, 07:33 PM

While at church, Peter gets into an argument with another guy.

Peter: Blasphemy!

Peter tosses holy water at the guy, who starts screaming that it burns. Cut to a teacher sitting in his classroom somewhere.

Teacher: Holy water? Where's that acid I ordered?

**AVianes** · 03-14-2003, 11:20 PM

It was a flashback sequence where Peter as a young boy is at a museum and he asks the tour guide why did the dinosaurs become extinct and the tour guide says because you touch yourself at night.

sorry about spelling

**TnAdct1** · 03-14-2003, 11:38 PM

Another funny moment from the Family Guy:

The episode where Peter becomes ultra-feminist: Peter trying to breast-feed Stewie himself.

Joe Klemm

**Tim Vee** · 03-16-2003, 04:23 PM

-In the episode where Peter found out his ancestor was black, there was a subplot where Stewie wanted to harness the mind control powers of cheerleaders (don't ask). He ties up the head cheerleader in the Men's restroom and takes her place during a basketball game. At the end of the episode, Quagmire walks into the stall with the bound-and-gagged head cheerleader. He stares for a moment, then says: "Dear Diary... JACKPOT!"

Laughed for about 10 minutes after that one...

-"There's a little girl stuck in that well, and noone can reach that far! Except for that guy, but he's helping an old lady tickle a midget in a tree (Shows a guy with freakishly long arms tickling the midget)."
-Peter joins the Cavity Creeps
-The Peppermint Patty/Marcy cameo
-Elroy Jetson, Former Child Star
-All the bits Mayor Adam West and Death
-Too many others to name...

**Manhunter** · 03-18-2003, 06:53 PM

-"The Scooby-Doo Murder Mysteries"

- Mafia Leader: You come to me, and ask me to kill a man i do not know. Now I ask you, why should I kill this.......Count Chocula?

Cap'n Crunch: Because that Son of A ***** has been spreading lies! My cereal does not cut the roof of your mouth!.........With all respect.

-Lois: Oh, I'm a terrible mother!
Stewie: Ha! I've got it all on tape. (takes out tape recorder and pushes play)
Stewie's voice on tape:OK, OK, this is me interviewing Ed Sullivan. How are we doing today Mr. Sullivan? Well, Stewie, we have a really big show. OK, OK, and now a word from our sponsors. (Stewie quickly shuts off tape.)
Stewie: I was, I was making radio shows for fun. Everyone does it, at least everyone I know...SHUT UP!

-Cop: You got the stuff?
Perp: Where's the money, huh? I wanna see the money!
Cop: No, no. You don't see the money till I see the stuff.
Stewie: Oh, for God's sake! There's only one way to end this nuisance! HE'S WEARING A WIRE!

-Stewie: "Yea, and God said to Abraham, 'You will kill your son Isaac.' And Abraham said, 'I can't hear you, you'll have to speak into the microphone.' And God said, 'Oh, I'm sorry, is this better? Check, check, check. Jerry, pull the high end out, I'm still getting some hiss back here.'"

-Peter: Since I became president, profits have been higher than Alyssa Milano.
Alyssa Milano: What kind of cheap shot!? Joel!
Joel: I'm suing, I'm suing, I'm on it, I'm on it.

**Tobias** · 03-18-2003, 07:22 PM

-Meg's Friend (To Lois): Wow, you're just like Martha Stewart!

Loise: Oh, no, I'm really quite nice once you get to know me.

- Stewie singing "Rocketman"

- Stewie teething:

Tooth #1: I claim this mouth in the name of... Incisor.

Tooth #2: I think not!

#1: (gasp) Bicuspid!Have at you!

#2: On Guard!

(after struggling but not moving)

#2: Well, shall we bite the tongue then?

**BrotherBubbaD** · 03-18-2003, 10:52 PM

I like the episode that had something to do with tax exemptions.

**candy17** · 03-21-2003, 08:18 AM

Originally posted by Sacos
My fav moment was in the Stewie and Brian travelling around the world ep when they go to Germany and ride the tour bus:

Brian: Excuse me but your guide book has a gap from 1939 to 1945 in it. What about World War II
Tour Guide: We were all out of the country at the time! No one was home!
Brian: But what about the invasion of Austria?
Tour Guide: We were invited! Cake was served.

I think this was how the original scene went:

Tour Guide: Any questions?
Brian: Uh, yeah. There doesn't seem to be any history between 1939 and 1945. It's just a big gap.
Tour Guide (quickly): Everyone was on vacation. (continues with tour): To your left there was the first city hall, erected in 15...
Brian: Whoa, whoa, what are you talking about? Germany invaded Poland in 1939 and...
Tour Guide: We were invited! Punch was served. Check with Poland.
Brian: But you can't just ignore those years. Thomas Mann fled to America because of Nazism's stranglehold on Germany.
Tour Guide: Nope, nope, he went there to manage a Dairy Queen.
Brian: A Dairy Queen, that's presposterous...
Tour Guide (angrily): I will hear no more insinuations about the German people! Nothing bad happened! (starts yelling like Hitler; long silence)
Brian: Uh, is that a beer hall.
Tour Guide (calm again): Oh, yes. Munich was renown for its historic beer halls.

I also like three other scenes from that episode:

-The part where Kiss sings "Chattanooga Choo-Choo" after Lois tries to sing.

-The part where Stewie and Brian are high in the Dutch cafe.

-The part where Stewie finds out the truth about that TV show he liked (I think it's called "Happy Farm")

All of those scenes had me rolling!

**SonGokou316** · 03-24-2003, 06:37 PM

It had to be the one where they show the Irish, having an advanced civilization in the past and suddenly when beer is invented, everyone gets drunk and their society plunges to stupidity.

**Tobias** · 03-27-2003, 03:18 PM

When Lois fights the Krypton villains during a bar fight, and puts them back in that little glass window that goes flying back into space.

**Manhunter** · 04-29-2003, 07:46 PM

Originally Posted by Tobias

When Lois fights the Krypton villains during a bar fight, and puts them back in that little glass window that goes flying back into space.

"Krypton sucks."

**The Landstander** · 04-29-2003, 08:01 PM

Hmm...normally bringing back threads isn't a good idea, but in this case (with Family Guy actually on AS now) would it be appropiate? Well, obviously its the mod's call.

If I might add, I'd say the Peter vs. Chicken fight from "Da Boom" was one of the funniest things...ever.

**Zim_Zany9000** · 05-01-2003, 02:17 AM

The clip where They show George Jetson and Astro on the outside treadmill, then somehow George finally gets inside and cusses out jane in front of the kids...

haha.. that was pretty funny...

**Cinos** · 05-01-2003, 10:37 AM

Star wars Laser Eye surgery:

Luke: Ok, I'm just gonna make an incision here...
Obi-wan: Use the fource, Luke.
Luke: Are you sure, cause-
Obi-wan: Use the, use the fource.
Luke: OK.
*Lightsaber hovers,stabs woman in the eye*
Luke: Are you happy now?
Obi-wan: I'm never happy

**The Dork Knight** · 05-03-2003, 01:57 AM

The Cheerios Scene
Peter's trip to the desert with Wile E. Coyote
The scenes with Adam West
Captain Kirk on Star Trek

- The Dork Knight

**David Lucas** · 05-05-2003, 06:52 AM

Well, I just said it on the Family Guy Week 3 thread. But I'll say it here too.

Ted Turner: I'd like to announce I've given the a gift the whole world can appreciate....I've colorized the moon.

**Captin "Hank" Murphy** · 05-05-2003, 03:36 PM

The Walt Disney Skit(that was just so outragious, I couldn't help but laugh. I wonder why Disney never sued them for it.)

**Nin-Nin69** · 05-05-2003, 11:00 PM

The Dick Van Dike Show opening
Hick a Do La
Peter breast feeding Stewie
George Jetson yelling at Jane
Black to the Future
"Because he puts Skippy in my lunch"
The Breakfast Club
Trix Rabbit Scene
Raisin Bran scene
Optimus Prime is Jewish
JFK Pez
Peter in real life
Peter turning into Mickey Mouse
Twinkie the Kid on A&E Bio
Spiderman saving Peter
"I'm sorry, but you need 15 tickets to live."
Chris ****** in his room while his father took his toy
The Evil Monkey in Chris' closet
Conjunction Junction Sex Ed
Robocop Hall Monitor
Walt Disney drawing Minnie Mouse
Walking onto the Flinstone's set
Big Bird in NYC
Scooby Doo
Speed Racer
Taxi w/ Jacky Chan
Peter hitting the Road Runner
Peter telling off the people at the Million Man march
Peter getting the relationship therapy videos which were actually porn movies
Fat Albert getting the boat
Peter meeting everyone at the entrance to Funworld
All the Hitler jokes
Peter eating chips while hiding from the Nazi's
Kool Aid "Oh Yea!"
Peter and his father doing Sanford and Son
Alphabet Soup
The Extermanators
Everything with Fred Rogers
Everything with Adam West
Peter attacking the Lemonade Stand
Chris being called a Fat Kid by the S&S security and Hotel security
Ann B. Davis News Cameo
when Quagmire is hitting on women
Big Fat Paulie getting shot
The British drive by taunting
Peter w/ Luke Perry by the pool
Albert Einstein killing God
Peter talking about Cheezy Charlies