TOM: Hey, Sara, how ya feeling this evening?
Sara: Oh, great
! This new operating system feels good!
TOM: Wait, you got a new operating system?
Sara: Yeah, it’s a new year, so I’m running a new OS.
TOM: So, why didn’t I get one too?
Sara: Weird. Maybe next year…
Space Dandy #4:
Narrator: It may sound like groaning to the untrained ear, but this noises make up an intricate language that the undead use to communicate. Luckily, I’m fluent in Zombie-ese. Allow me to translate. “Being a zombie’s not that bad, once you get used to it. You don’t have to spend much money on food.”
Narrator: Though zombies appear expressionless, they are capable of conveying emotion through their various moans. This is joy. Here’s anger. And of course, sadness. You may not hear the subtle differences, but I assure you, each moan is unique.
Narrator: Now that every living thing has become an undead version of itself, the universe is an incredibly peaceful place. There is no more sickness, death, or war. We no longer classify ourselves as different species, for we have become one…unified…albeit zombified…genus…uh…uhh……
A film written and directed by GEORGE E. ROMERO
Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag Freedom Cry Review:
Sara: Assassin’s Creed: Freedom Cry gets an 8.5 out of 10, TOM.
TOM: Sweet…now gimme!
Sara: I’m not done.
TOM: Come on, just five minutes?
Mayuri: I’ll teach you a lesson, my friend. You’ve made one small error, perhaps a fatal one…you’ve p!$$ed me off!
Reigai: Isane: Careful, you’ll over-exert yourself!
Kageroza: And how did you reach that conclusion?!
Reigai Isane: It’s just that you look…weak.
Kageroza: NO ONE TELLS ME I’M WEAK! *kills her*
Ichigo: It’s been a while since you graced us with your art.
Rukia: What was that?
Kon: Never mind, it’s not important. Keep going!
Nozomi: Your drawings suck.
*Rukia WHACKS Ichigo and Kon!*
Naruto Shippuden #4:
Sakura: It’s so simple, it’s simply brilliant!
: Listen to this, Kakashi-sensei! I know the final plot twist of Makeout Tactics!
Kakashi: Wh-what?! No! NO!!
Naruto: Turns out the hero actually is none other than…!
Kakashi: No! Shut up! I don’t wanna hear! Ah! Oh no! Because of the Sharingan, I can still read his lips! Eeh!
*Naruto and Sakura have the bells!*
Naruto: Haha, a ninja must see through deception.
Sakura: Isn’t that right, Sensei?
Kakashi: I deserved that.
One Piece #238:
Tilestone: Heeeey! There’s trouble!
Galley La: Shut up, Tilestone! You’re way the hell too loud!
Kalifa: You fools! You’re just as loud as he is!
Nami: Luffy! Tear him to pieces and then make him put some pants on!
Franky: Wasn’t enough to wreck my house and beat up my boys, huh? What’s wrong, you don’t feel like a man unless you’re pounding the crap out of shipwrights too? I know that puberty can make you do some really crazy stuff, but wow!
Soul Eater #44:
Medusa (to Crona): The goal we’ve worked toward together for so long is finally within sight. At a time like this, how could you doubt your own mother?
Marie: Because you’re easy to doubt, Medusa!
Crona: I’m here to help someone who’s important to me. Someone who’s been there for me, no matter what. I’m here to…I’m here to stop you, Medusa.
Medusa: How disappointing. After all I’ve done, I expected better from you. Are you sure you won’t reconsider?
Marie: He’s sure, accept it!
Crona: I’m tired of hating myself all the time. And I’m tired of betraying the people I care about. Most of all, I’m tired of being some tool for you to use.
Sword Art Online #22:
Kirito: I…I…I died? I always believed that deep down, this world was just a game. Is this my punishment for thinking that? My strength in the game is a lie, nothing more than a bunch of skills and stats. I didn’t give a damn about its rules or its limits. I thought I could do anything.
Kirito: I have to see her again, just once. I have to see Asuna.
Leafa: What…what did you just say?
Kirito: Her name’s Asuna. She’s the one I’ve been looking for.
Leafa: But…but then…then you’re…oh my god! Is that you…Kazuto?
Kirito: Huh? Sugu? Suguha?
Leafa: I can’t believe it. It’s not fair! No! *logs out*
Suguha: After you came back from SAO, I was happy because you were being nice to me again. Just like when we were little. I felt like you were finally giving me a chance. That’s what I thought. But now, if this is how it is, I wish you’d kept on being a jerk to me. If you had, I wouldn’t have realized how I felt about you. I wouldn’t have felt sad and jealous when I found out about her! And I wouldn’t have tried forgetting about you and FALLING IN LOVE WITH KIRITO INSTEAD!
Kazuto: I’m sorry.
Suguha: Go on. Leave me alone.
Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex #13:
Tachikoma: Wanna piece of me?!
Ishikawa: Where’s Batou? Off rescuing Major Sheedy? As if she needs it.
Tachikoma: How do you like that?!
Saito: Moron! Have you forgotten you’ve got somebody inside your pod?!
Tachikoma: Aw, but I wanna fight some more!
Star Wars: The Clone Wars #2.1:
Intro: A lesson learned is a lesson earned.
Todo: You know, if you’d just tell me what it is you are doing back there, I could probably be of some assistance.
Bane: Look, I’m just doing some maintenance. You’ve been having memory crashes.
Todo: That is preposterous. I have no memory of any crashes. Oh my goodness! I have no memory of any crashes!
Bane: Get the door.
Todo: I am a techno-service droid, not a butler droid.
Bane: Can it, Todo. You are what I say you are.
Todo: Well! Then…
Bankotsu: I don’t understand it.
: You were way too greedy, Bankotsu. You were strong enough on your own, even without the Jewel Shards.
Bankotsu: Hahahaha… *dies*