Title: "Future Stock"
Writer: Frank Strom
Penciller: Walter Carzon
Inker: Horacio Ottolini
Letterer: John Costanza
Colorist: Bob LeRose
Cover: Walter Carzon & Horacio Ottolini
Release Date: August 18th, 1999
Cover Price:
$1.99 U.S./ $2.85 Canada
Summary:
The mice use time travel and a banking account to
throw off the world's economy.
Description:
Brain, after having built a time machine,
decides to deposit his forty-seven cents into a banking account. He'll travel
to the future, where the sum, with interest, will be a huge part of the world's
economy. Withdrawing the money will throw the economy into chaos. When the bank
is robbed and they lose their money, they travel back in time to tell their
past selves to invest in a "wormhole" portfolio instead. But talking
to their past selves has unforeseen effects on the present—the world is now
inhabited by ostriches.
Pages (out of 32): 8 pp.
AYPWIP:
BRAIN: Pinky--are you
pondering what I'm pondering?
PINKY: Uh, I think so, Brain--but after eating newspaper all
day, do I really need the extra fiber?
Quote of the Story:
PINKY: Come now! You and I both know it's a crime. And
knowing is twelve-tenths of the law! *Gonk!*
Review:
Note to new editor Heidi MacDonald: Keep Strom away
from the mice! While his Warner comics are usually decent at the worst, his
P&tB stories are near-disasters. This one has a somewhat amusing concept,
which is ruined by lackluster writing and idiotic dialogue. The
"throwup" gags are dumb. I don't see why Pinky should be upset about
stealing from *THEMSELVES*, especially for their own good. Brain is way too
slow—"present" Brain's "identical cousin" excuse is
completely idiotic, "past" Brain should've remembered the time
machine right away, and "present" Brain should've realized that his
past self would trust himself. Plus, Strom makes that annoying mistake
occasionally made by P&tB writers—inventing new nonsense words for Pinky
(and stupid ones at that). Tremendous
waste of Carzon's, and everyone else's, talent.
Rating: 
Title: "The Contest"
Writer: Matt Wayne
Penciller: Leo Batic
Inker: Jim Amash
Letterer: Phil Felix
Colorist: Bob LeRose
Description:
Yakko & Dot have a contest coming up with
new "variable lines" for the A! theme song. Wakko finally makes his
contribution, which literally blows everyone away…
Pages (out of 32): 2 pp.
Review:
A clever idea, but the lines that the usually
amusing Wayne comes up with just aren't funny. A lot are reworkings of
already-existing "variable lines" ("stain-y,"
"drain-y," "pain-y," "brain-y," and "Lon Chane-y"
have all been done, in one form or another). Others don't fit and/or aren't
funny, but there are a handful of keepers which make this story worth a glance.
Bizarre ending…
Rating: 

Title: "Coo-La-La"
Writers: Jennifer Moore & Sean Carolan
Penciller: Leo Batic
Inker: Jim Amash
Letterer: Phil Felix
Colorist: Bob LeRose
Summary:
The Goodfeathers try to get into a Bird Show to see
some uppercrust females.
Description:
The Girlfeathers go to a "Boid Show,"
but the Goodfeathers refuse to hobnob with uppercrust snobs—until they catch a
glance of some attractive females. They make several attempts to get in, and
finally follow the Godpigeon's advice to go in through the skylight. But when
the Girlfeathers see them with the French damsels, they fly off, and the guys
try to chase after them.
Pages (out of 32): 6 pp.
Quote of the Story:
GODPIGEON: Vassifehvassavatassaavafaya.
BOBBY: The Godpigeon says "Don't go through a mountain
when you can fly over it."
SQUIT: That's brilliant!
PESTO: That's why he's the Godpigeon, ya mook!
Review:
Nothing spectacular from our favorite writers. While
highly forgettable, this story is still quite enjoyable.
Rating: 


Title: "The Wolf at the Door!"
Writer: Frank Strom
Penciller: Leo Batic
Inker: Jim Amash
Letterer: Phil Felix
Colorist: Bob LeRose
Summary:
A "Three Little Pigs"-style story,
pitting Walter Wolf against the Warners.
Description:
After being chased off by Little Red Riding
Hood's grandmother, Walter Wolf comes across the Three Little Pigs' house,
which is being rented to the Warners. After several failed attempts, he gives
up and heads to the Three Bears' House—only to find the Warners renting that,
too.
Pages (out of 32): 6 pp.
Quote of the Story:
WALTER: You'd think there'd be an easy way for a shallow,
predictable archetype like me to get a decent meal!
Review:
An interesting concept, and decent writing. Some
good (but not great) artwork from the pencil of Batic.
Rating: 
˝