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Title: "Beauty or the Beast"
Writer: Mark McKain
Penciller: James Silvani
Inker: Scott McRae
Letterer: Bob Pinaha
Colorist: Dave Tanguay
Release Date: July ??, 1996
Cover Price:
$1.75 U.S./ $2.50 Canada Summary:
The Warners put their own spin on a beauty contest.
Description:
The three have stolen Plotz's invitation to
judge the Miss Small Town Beauty Contest, and go themselves. There, they knock
out the host, and take his place. They juice things up with "Nightgown and
Curler," "Ugly Face," and "Stupid Questions,"
contests, then an all-you-can-eat buffet for the models. They still have 30
minutes of airtime to fill, so they get Plotz and the other judges to strut
around in their underwear as the models ogle *THEM*.
Pages (out of 32): 8 pp.
Quote of the Story:
[The models are finally given some real food.]
MODEL 1: High fat chips! Real cheese!
MODEL 2: I haven't had a pizza since I went on the bread and
water diet!
MODEL 1: You got bread?!
MODEL 3: And water? I was surviving on the minerals I
absorbed from my lip gloss.
Review:
Nice spoof of beauty pageants with their inane
competitions, etc. Another comic with the Warners trashing something that
deserves to be trashed. Lots of fun. Silvani, who does the artwork for T-shirts
and other A! odds and ends, makes his comic book debut. While his style isn't
terribly original or identifiable, the Warners are fairly on-model throughout.
Rating: 
Title: "Minervadrama"
Writer: Dana Kurtin
Penciller: Cosmé Quartieri
Inker: Scott McRae
Letterer: Teresa Davidson
Colorist: Jo Meugniot
Cover: Cosmé Quartieri & Horacio Ottolini
Summary:
Newt tries to capture the mink by appealing to her
sense of drama.
Description:
Newt has again been sent by his master to
capture Minerva (see the TV short "Meet Minerva"). He decides to
appeal to her typical female love of melodramatic romance. He poses as a
landlord foreclosing on her house, ties himself to a traintrack, and finally
ties her up and puts her on a logcutting machine. Of course, she outwits each
time using her feminine charms, and eventually goes off with a hunky hunting
dog, who's also been sent by his master to capture a mink.
Pages (out of 32): 8 pp.
Quote of the Story:
[Minerva, tied to the logcutter, tells Newt that he doesn't
appreciate her.]
MINERVA: I've been wearing this cute belt all day and you
haven't said one thing about it.
NEWT: I'm so sorry. I will now untie you and admire it
fully.
[He unties her and she slugs him.]
MINERVA: Creep! [Runs off.]
NEWT: [Woozy.]: That's one heck of a belt, all right.
Review:
Great job. Of course, writing isn't a prime element
of Minerva cartoons/comics, and Kurtin's script wisely does little more than
serve to provide Quartieri opportunities to flex his talent, which he does.
Don't be fooled by the rather off-model Minerva on the cover—Quartieri's work
on the mink here is top-notch, perfectly translating her to comic form. He also
does some wonderful wild takes. Quartieri breaks free from his rather
lackluster work on the Warners comics and shows how talented he really is.
Recommended, especially to fans of the mink.
Rating:
Title: "No Substitute for Laughter"
Writer: David Cody Weiss
Penciller: Leonardo Batic
Inker: Scott McRae
Letterer: Bob Pinaha
Colorist: Dave Tanguay
Summary:
Slappy attempts to teach her old teacher the art of
humor.
Description:
Skippy has stayed home from school because his
substitute teacher is picking on him. When Slappy learns that she called her a
bad influence, she heads over to talk to the sub. Once there, she learns that
the sub is her old teacher, Miz Backbreaker, who is too serious to laugh. So
Slappy & Skippy perform some old comedy routines, and finally crack her
when Slappy gets hit by a pie.
Pages (out of 32): 8 pp.
Quote of the Story:
MIZ BACKBREAKER: You must realize the importance of
mastering the three Rs!
SLAPPY: Lady, the most important 3Rs I know are ratings,
reruns, and residuals!
Review:
Another mediocre Slappy comic. This one might've
been better if it was longer, as it doesn't seem to take much to get
Backbreaker to laugh, but it's weak even from the premise. Besides, with
Backbreaker's mean comments about Slappy, I'd think Slappy would've just blown
her up, rather than trying to convert her…
Rating:
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