Synopsis: There’s a staff dance after work tonight and – OMG, is that really Madonna? Squeal!!! Meanwhile, both Sy and God have to walk The Bearded Clam through heart surgery before the big dance and Lola may or may not be able to dance – you decide.
Details: Oh…my…God, Becky, there’s a staff dance tonight and it will probably have rap music, but who can understand those rap guys anyway? Before the female portion of the staff can get too excited about the upcoming dance there is the little matter of Sy and The Bearded Clam getting through an impromptu heart surgery because the Clam’s ambulance is just too far away from the hospital for any other solution. That means, of course, that it’s up to God to magically bestow the Clam with a top notch heart surgeon skill set – like the kind you might get at the DeVry Institute of Technology or any reputable local online university. During the interim, we discover that several words rhyme with “elevator” and WTF – is that Madonna that Owen is bringing to the dance tonight!? Did God do that too? Meanwhile, Lola has a problem – like most of the American male population, she can’t dance – Unfortunately, she’s female and neither can Glenn. So Lola must try to learn to dance from Glenn’s School of Erotic Touching and Fake Dancing while the Chief – acutely aware of God’s presence because it has had something to do with both heart surgery and Madonna – prepares for the Rapture. Madonna, inspired by surgical masks sings her big hit song “The Saints Go Marching In” and it’s not even close to the Super Bowl yet.
The first order of business with this episode is immediately forgetting all those high school dances you never attended, never wanted to attend or attended and spiked the punch. Next, Fonzie has a new book out called “Aaayyyy, I can act, Mrs. C!” [Important to remember when watching all Childrens Hospital episodes]. Then, realize before you watch the episode and not during nor afterward – when it’s much, much too late – that the “big dance” has absolutely no relation whatsoever to the NCAA men’s college basketball championship tournament held in Las Vegas every year [well, it should be]. Also, we don’t know what kind of dance they call this but it has no limbo contest – shocking – and, regrettably, Madonna does not sing “Like A Surgeon” to pander to her audience.