Synopsis: Tired of those fat, lazy Americans always copying good British television shows, the Brits strike back by copying “Childrens Hospital”. Take that, you tossers! Otherwise, it’s a normal episode of CH meeting ER and forming CHER – only with a British accent, much more kissy scenes and much less plastic surgery.
Details: It is the British invasion this week as the staff of “Childrens Hospital” turns the tables on Brits by adapting a British version of their show before the Brits could even think of it! Crafty. The British version of CH is decidedly more prim, proper and contains many words which Americans generally think the Brits just made up but claim to be the Queen’s English [more like the Queen after a few cans of Olde English]. There’s an opening voice-over riffing off David Bowie’s “Changes” as the British cast saunter in and immediately begin getting very serious about the various states of affairs in the wards – specifically Oren Maestro needing to perform surgery on everyone and everything in sight, The Chief [or Headmistress in the Brit version] trying to pimp herself out to the new Sy [Cyrus in Brit version] and most notably Lady-Doctor or Doctor-Lady Kitty Black having a dual duel – first with Maestro over who gets to operate on the poor black child and an ongoing desire to impress her Margaret Thatcher-bouffanted mother. Them’s the plot lines mostly and in between, pretty much everybody is kissing each other [something we presume happens frequently in British hospital shows]. There is also a mime as the French doctor attempting to save the boy in the glass box [instead of the boy in the plastic bubble] without John Travolta – but we’ve always made it a rule to disavow mimes whether they be real, imaginary or satirical-based.
The Poop and Skinny: If you’ve only got 12 minutes for a comedy show and you’re intending to have said show be a mock British version of the original, then there damn well better be at least three Monty Python references, two Benny Hills and Russell Brand mockfestation [the hospital overrun by poor Russell Brand imitators, perhaps?]. But all we got was a fake Michael Caine voiceover of a M*A*S*H-style announcement including the famous MP phrase “Bring out yer dead!”. Not good enough. In fact, bloody well far short of even being in the same cricket park of good enough, know what I mean? Your show, is it a goer? Your show, does it like photography? Knew it would, knew it would. Plus, if UK doctors always wear their garb in the pubs, let’s see some squidgy situations involving emergency ale-ectomies. After all, a nudge is as good as a wink to a blind parody writer.