Synopsis: Oliver – aka Arrow – hooks up with Helena the Huntress in a sort of pre-marital test of vigilante philosophies [revenge vs. sweet justice] before going down the possible path to Mr. and Mrs. Arrowdom. It looks like Mr. and Mrs. Arrow are in business as a crime fighting couple until – oh no – there goes Mrs. Arrow taking the Dirty Harry approach and killing everything in sight plus anything else that moves or happens to get in the way. That certainly can spoil a potential honeymoon.
Details:In lieu of the now hopefully long-gone Oliver voiceovers, we have the very retro 1960s/70s drama TV show opening intonation of “previously on Arrow…” to remind us that the opening sequence rehash of last week’s episode might have been something our short attention span brains had forgotten in the seven days since we last checked in with Vigilante Central. Hilarious, and a good touch – even if unintentional – now all we need is some stilted scene shots a la “Batman”. Also it took the edge off having to see this week’s show enter with a post-coitus bedroom shot with Helena the Huntress and our boy, Oliver the Arrow. Who wants to see that shot – outside of the suburban housewife crew? Certainly not appealing to the main male demographic of this show unless there is going to be nudity with the role playing – then you might need some soft lighting, condoms and soundtrack from The Clash [you know, being vigilantes and all].
We finally get to the action with Helena the Huntress [who we think should market a line of clothing under that name] ambushing Nikki Minaj [China White] and her Triad gangbanger buddies before Arrow shows up to thwart the attempted killing spree. This leads to a subsequent scene where an outraged Helena the Huntress is taking offense with Arrow’s intrusion on her ambush. The duo proceed to hash out their superhero vigilante philosophies [revenge vs. sweet justice] at the Greasy Spoon in the ‘Glades. Back at the Arrow Lair, Diggle tries to talk some sense into our boy but – too late – the boy is gobsmacked.
Now it’s time to enter the Bouncy Hut as we jump around aimlessly from scenario to scenario. First, it’s Walter and Moira having a heart-to-heart, then it’s Oliver spilling some of his background story beans to Helena, then it’s Oliver in his Arrow persona giving archery lessons to Helena in her Huntress persona at the Arrow Lair in a scene that sets the foundation for a potential Mr. and Mrs. Arrow in a “Mr. & Mrs. Smith” riff. Then it’s time for Arrow to go back to class for Diggle’s lecture on Vigilante Etiquette 101, then a short hop, skip and jump over to Laurel and Eddie Haskell [Tommy Merlyn] to check in with those lovebirds before ending up back with Walter at work being shown the magic symbol by Felicity Smoak and Walter responding by threatening to take away her 401k. Zzzzzz, yawn, zzzz, booorriiing. Zzzzzzz.
Getting back to the action, the corporate criminal of the week is running an illegal Oxycodone pill operation with the collusion of the villainous Bertinelli mafia crime and Helena’s dad. Mrs. Arrow subtly prods Dad with some information and we look like we’re beginning to get somewhere when – suddenly – we travel back to the boring storyline circus. Walter tracks down the mystery book in Moira’s safe and probably the most painful scene of the entire series so far – Mr. and Mrs. Arrow have an impromptu double date with Laurel and Eddie Haskell which winds up with everybody being pissed and male viewers being pissed because that scene is then followed by a snoozer scene of Eddie apologizing to Laurel for his double date behavior.
Finally – finally! – we get back to the real action with Mrs. Arrow taking matters into her own hands and offing Nikki’s Triad boss while he’s innocently playing a game of Old Maid with his buddies. Arrow comes to the killing party too late but of course you know, this means war. As expected, the Nikki Minaj Army retaliates with a brazen attack on the Dad Bertinelli mansion where Arrow may or may not have killed her – we never see the exact outcome of his arrow shot. But then – a surprising plot twist! Mrs. Arrow tries to kill her father in a Star Wars-like battle sequence only to have Ben Obi Wan Arrow intervene and prevent her from finishing off dear old Dad. Apparently feeling somewhat miffed that his only daughter would try to kill him, Dad fires off a final arrow that injures Mrs. Arrow before losing consciousness from the fist of Arrow. Arrow carts his possible future wife to the Arrow Lair where, upon awakening, he gives her a lecture and she storms off to the ladies room – or perhaps the pissed-off vigilante’s room.
With that settled until next week, we go back to Walter, who has welcomed Felicity back into his good graces and the pair attempt to track down the source of the mystery symbol in the mystery book that seemingly contains blank pages until Felicity unveils her special X-ray glasses that reveal the naughty list of names similar to those Arrow received from his father.
The episode ends in a puff of whipped cream as Oliver gives Eddie a job as general manager of his dance club and we’re all left wondering – is this really worth the fast-forward function being disabled?
The Poop and Skinny: As always, let us begin by hailing the twin absences of both the annoying serious-toned Oliver voiceovers and the storyline crutch of multiple island-based flashbacks. All hail common sense and creativity! This was mostly a girly episode – to be defined as an episode focusing on the ongoing development of characters’ relationships rather than action – so males could mostly ignore 75% of the episode by spending time getting beer from the fridge, checking their Facebook or Twitter or merely dozing off in the scenes involving any of the females except for the potential future Mrs. Arrow – and we fully expect some sort of holiday theme for next week’s episode to assure us that Starling City is not completely nor eternally trapped in a societal vacuum.