Synopsis: An all in-house episode this week as nobody – except Ron – leaves historic Tunt Manor. Pam continues her cocaine binge and nearly finishes off all the illicit coke while Carol/Cheryl gets turned into country singer wannabe Cherlene via a brain chip implanted by – who else? – Krieger.
Details: Pam is still addicted to cocaine this week – that’s not likely to change any time soon – but the addiction has also meant a significant weight loss and consequently, her body size proportions have changed drastically. Since she already had big boobs since she was a largish woman, the mammary glands are now even more pronounced now that her waist has shrunk via drug addiction. Translation: the boys suddenly think she looks hot – even while scarfing down copious quantities of cocaine-laced yogurt.
To stop Pam from eating all the cocaine, Krieger is asked to tranquilize her but misfires and hits Malory instead. Woodhouse, having escaped from the old-timey gym and its nefarious medicine ball, cold cocks Pam from behind with a frying pan. She is then tied up in a chair with some flimsy ropes – which, based on Pam’s past experiences with being restrained, you would think the group would know better than to use mere ropes and a measly chair to control her – but Pam easily breaks out of the restraint when she awakens like a hibernating bear and then hauls off Carol/Cheryl down one of the many secret tunnels in historic Tunt Manor.
Agent Holley of the FBI shows up under the pretense of seeing if anybody was injured in that shootout with the Yakuza last week and Malory’s husband, Ron is propped up and lying in a hospital bed but a Yakuza shootout injury is denied as a reason for his convalescence.
Pam has carted Carol/Cheryl off to Ray Gillette’s room and a awakened Malory sends Krieger and Cyril off after them so Krieger can fire off a brain chip implant in Pam to calm her down. FBI agent Holley follows them but Krieger and Cyril get to the room first and decide it’s better to fire the brain chip into Carol/Cheryl now that Pam is looking all hot.
Meanwhile, in an attempt to find out where Pam went, Lana finds herself holed up in a basement room where Archer and Woodhouse discover her. Knowing Lana has an itchy trigger finger, Archer comes in to the room where Lana is, using Woodhouse as a human shield and – sure enough – Lana fires first and asks questions later, tranquilizing poor Woodhouse. Archer then engages her in baby and relationship conversation before Agent Holley finds them and tries to knock down the door only to find it difficult due to the unconscious Woodhouse blocking the door.
Finally getting fed up with all the shenanigans, Ron decides to leave a distraught Malory, Agent Holley warns everybody that he’ll be watching them like a hawk bred with an eagle that’s kinda like a superhawk and Krieger and Cyril bring back the tranquilized Pam and brain chip-implanted Carol/Cheryl as the newly reborn country singer Cherlene.
“Archer Vice” takes a three-week hiatus during the Winter Olympics in Sochi and will return with episode five [“Southbound and Down”] on February 24.
The Poop and Skinny: Top four things to remember from this episode…
Breakfast will be four minutes late.
A metric ton is not the same as an American ton [it’s not even spelled the same] and it doesn’t matter anyway because due to Pam’s voracious appetite – they are down to 125 kilos of cocaine.
Only the USA, Liberia and Burma use the American version of measurement.
Lana is seen perusing “Baby” magazine this week.
The coveted TZ Best Line of the Episode Award goes to Archer, who chastises everybody for not knowing how to operate the lever for the revolving wall in historic Tunt Manor – “Have you not seen Scooby-Doo!?!”