Archer – A Kiss While Dying – Season 5, Episode 2
Synopsis: Now that ISIS is no longer even a rogue agency they have to make money so Archer, Lana, Pam and a ton of cocaine travel to Miami for a drug deal that goes awry – beginning with a mismatched fondue set and ending with fake deaths and counterfeit cash.
Details: ISIS – or the formerly rogue spy agency remnants that used to be ISIS – are moving into new digs, what Archer refers to as the Casa de Addams Family while a buyer for 20 kilos of their cocaine is found in Miami and that’s good enough reason to send Lana, Archer and Pam encased in a body cast made of the cocaine to Miami to follow through on a drug deal with the infamous Ramon [Ron Perlman]. This is something they have to do with the cocaine to make money because “a yard sale is out of the question”.
With Archer posing as a doctor and Lana as a nurse, they wheel the cocaine-wrapped Pam into Miami where, once they arrive, Pam begins to go koo-koo for Cocoa Puffs and busts her way out of the cocaine body cast and knocks Archer out in the process.
Meanwhile, back at the CdAF, Cyril begins practicing law again, Carol/Cheryl practices country singing with Ray as her vocal coach and Krieger runs around doing pretty much anything he wants – so it’s no change for him only he appears to have a larger space in which to conduct his random experiments.
After much irrational debate over a variety of topics, the group – minus Pam, who is busy eating her coke cast – has established Ramon as their official contact and Ramon is demanding a $5000 finder’s fee so he can buy the Little Havana night club for some man-on-man action been.
Ramon brings in Carlos and Rudy – his two gay hitmen/henchmen – and a fondue set accompanies them to what initially will be the cocaine buy-off until Pam starts eating all the coke and Carlos and Rudy double-cross everybody and take off with both the cocaine and the money.
While the still-pregnant Lana and loopy Pam wait in the car, Archer gets the idea to ambush the swanky residence of Carlos and Rudy, and he and Ramon stealthily plan their ambush until Carlos and Rudy “surprise” them and appear to kill each other as well as Ramon. The dying Ramon makes a last request – to kiss Archer.
Back at CdAF – Archer, Malory and Lana figure out that Ramon, Carlos and Rudy faked their deaths while Cyril confirms that the money they have is counterfeit and Pam, well, she still had a lot of cocaine.
The Poop and Skinny: Top three things to remember from this episode…
Ron Perlman voices Ramon – who we may see again…
A 1967 Pontiac Catalina can still look good – at least animated and in Miami.
The group is now like the A-Team – “only they sell drugs”.
The coveted TZ Best Line of the Episode Award goes to Cheryl/Carol once again, who, acknowledges her poor-sounding singing voice – “I know it’s bad! I’m not ear-crippled!”