Childrens Hospital Episode Recap: Season Five, Episode 11 – A Lot Of Brouhaha Over Zilch
Synopsis: It’s the Childrens Hospital Shakespeare play – sort of – as Blake turns into episode narrator and provides backstory on why Derrick Childrens – the long-lost son on hospital founder Arthur Childrens – is not in charge of the hospital but is dressed up as Dr. Valerie Flame before he goes around intentionally screwing up all the ongoing soap operaish relationship sub-plots. Plus, fairies and donkeys.
Details: While seemingly innocently discussing the merits of Shakespeare with Private Corcoran [John Gemberling – “The Heart, She Holler”], Blake decides to take matters into his own narrative hands and freeze frames everything in the episode as he takes a stroll around the base explaining the backstories of all the characters. The most surprising, of course, is the revelation that Derrick Childrens – the long-lost son of hospital founder, Arthur Childrens – has been masquerading as a woman, but not just any woman, specifically, Dr. Valerie Flame. Plus, there are random fairies flying around the base.
Derrick-as-Val is busy smooching Owen when Blake walks through, freeze frames the scene, explains a few more background tidbits then intentionally adjusts her blonde “wig” to get Owen’s attention when they resume smooching. Upon return to action, Owen not only notices the askew wig but also stubble – although completely misses any Adam’s apple dead giveaways – and calls out Val as a dude which, of course, means they have to break up immediately. Val briefly protests, claiming she just wants to “touch ding-dongs”.
Meanwhile, Glenn is busy attempting to seduce three women when Cat comes along and breaks up his four-way due to the fact that, as Blake had explained earlier, they love each other but are supposed to act like they hate each other. Blake drops in on Owen to make some suggestions on making a grand gesture and tells Glenn how he can spy on Cat through a hole he made in a closet.
Some of the base’s personnel are putting on their version of Shakespeare’s “A Mid-Summer Night’s Dream” [which is said to heavily involve donkeys] when Blake interrupts and recruits the play’s actors to help him with a scheme while also suggesting that audience members Chet and Nurse Dori immediately go tell Sy about Val’s plan to reveal himself as Derrick Childrens and usurp Sy’s authority.
But Glenn’s evil nemesis from school – Jewy McJewJew, now a rabbi – who only ever went after Glenn’s girlfriends when they were in school, now has his eyes set on snagging Cat away from him. But unbeknownst to Rabbi McJewJew, Cat has whipped out her poison blue lipstick which “only kills men and not women” and plans to use it on him. Glenn, whose spying hole has dual access to Cat’s room and Sy’s office missed the blue lipstick part while he was listening to Sy’s plan to save his title. Blake forgets to tell Cat not to kiss Rabbi McJewJew because it will really be Glenn in disguise and everything begins to break down from there with Blake blaming it on the scene where he adjusted Val’s wig at the beginning of the episode.
Finally, at the episode-ending rendition of the Shakespeare play practiced by the base personnel, Owen announces his grand gesture [he has surgically removed his penis] because he loves Val, Cat loves Glenn, Jewy McJewJew appears to love Chet, Sy announces the theme is love and there are fairies again.
The Poop and Skinny: Both Arthur Childrens and Derrick Childrens are played by Jon Hamm.
The title is a reference to Shakespeare’s play “Much Ado About Nothing”.
“Glenn, oh I see that you found some ladies who like herpes – good for you!” – Cat, intentionally breaking up the conversation Glenn was having with three women.
Hitler invented Christmas cards.
Rabbi Jewy McJewJew is David Wain – also a writer and director for the series as well as the voice of the warden on the now-defunct “Superjail!”
The fairy is Erica Oyama – the real-life wife of Ken Marino, who plays Glenn.
Michael Cera does not appear in this episode as the voice-over intercom guy.