Synopsis: The Belcher family is going on a camping trip – much to the consternation of Linda and Louise – and the trip takes continuing ominous turns with the park ranger, survivalists and finally, overzealous squirrels.
Details: Bob and Linda take the family on a camping trip – although Linda [claims they’re city-folk] as well as Louise [bad knees] are not overjoyed with the prospect of communing with nature – and this gives Bob a chance to not only become the “Nature Master” of the family but also use his NatureMaster multi-tool. Tina, meanwhile, as a newly minted Thunder Girl, is looking forward to the camping trip so she can take advantage of everything in her Thunder Girl handbook – including the “13-Smile Hike”.
Upon arrival at the campground/park, they are met by a kooky park ranger who warns them about crazy squirrels then runs away. Bob and Linda locate a campsite near a river, a bee hive, Mount Wang – a phallic-shaped rock or “nature’s boner” as Gene likes to call it – and a couple of survivalists in an RV [portrayed by Lindsey Stoddart of “Hollywood Residential” fame and John Michael Higgins of “Happily Divorced”]. Bob claims they can get their food from the river and catches a tiny trout but because they have come poorly prepared for the camping trip, Linda and the kids visit their survivalists’ RV where the survivalists offer to let them have some of their food supplies. Linda snags a pouch of wine as one of the items and after some wine and the kids have gone to sleep, her and Bob go skinny dipping in a nearby hot springs in the river.
Bob, however, soon develops a potty emergency – diarrhea – from eating the trout and is trying to exit the hot springs gracefully while Linda is trying to pull him back in, inevitably sending both of them tumbling into the river with their clothes still on the river bank. After a few harrowing moments spent negotiating the river rapids, the pair are deposited on a river bank where Bob still must tend to his bowel movement emergency and Linda frets about returning to the campsite and the kids “before the wolves raise them” [which introduces a minute long discussion over how the kids would turn out if actual wolves raised them].
Bob and Linda, though, don’t make it back to the campsite by morning and the kids awaken to discover them missing and upon finding their discarded clothing, Gene concludes they have melted, but upon Louise’s insistence, they set off on inner tubes down the river in an attempt to locate them. Meanwhile, Bob and Linda have gone the wrong way in trying to get back to the campsite and Linda is beginning to hallucinate and starts eating ants and worms. With the situation appearing to be dire, Tina consults the Thunder Girl handbook to determine their course of action and this eventually leads them to the campsite of Thunder Girl Troop 39 [they won a chant-off with Tina’s troop].
But with Louise’s encouragement, the trio disdain Troop 39’s help and move on in search of Bob and Linda. With Bob now pooping and barfing, Linda takes over the lead Nature Master role but gets separated from Bob, who finds a horde of nuts in a tree trunk – only to have crazy squirrels descend upon him as he is attempting to raid their nut vault. Linda returns to kick the squirrels away from Bob and the duo finally make it back to the campsite – only to find the kids not there.
The survivalists lure them into their RV with promises of helping them find the kid but when they enter the RV, they are taken hostage by the survivalists, who accuse the kids of taking their fudge and inner tubes but that Bob and Linda can placate them by participating in their swinger rituals. Trapped by survivalist swingers, Bob and Linda are saved when the kids return just in the nick of time and use a tactic from “page 17” of the survivalists’ handbook to free them from their RV prison.
The Poop and Skinny: There are no scenes inside the restaurant for the entire episode.
Tina is a member of the Thunder Girl organization – a parody of the Girl Scouts – which is ultimately exposed as a soul stealing organization where all girls are cogs in a cookie-selling machine, according to Louise, anyway.
Sashes and Patches!
The survivalist handbook is officially titled “Don’t Survive, Sur-Thrive!: Apoca-tips for the Apocalypse”
The ToonZone Gold Best Line of the Episode Medal – “Yeah, crazy how these kids go sleep sober like that.” – Linda, expressing wonder at how fast the kids fell asleep in their tents at the campsite.
The ToonZone Silver Second-Best Line of the Episode Medal – “Could it kill an eagle? Why would we wanna kill an eagle? I don’t know, they’re so condescending.” – Gene, postulating on eagles, both the actual birds as well as the band members, we suspect…
The ToonZone Bronze Third-Best Line of the Episode Medal – “Wine helps me drink.” – Linda, self-explanatory.
Right Side Store Neighbor of the Week – “Tandemonium” – for all your tandem bike needs [and not a tanning salon as we initially thought it might be].
Van of the Week – “The Great Ratsby Exterminators”.
Burger of the Week – None.