Synopsis: Oliver Queen – aka Arrow – is back to take another swing at justice and personal angst. This time, the episode bad guy is Starling City bigwig Martin Somers, who is in cahoots with guest villain China White [who we shall call Nikki Minaj, due to the costume department’s choice of hairstyle for her] to facilitate the transit of drugs in Starling City. Oliver doesn’t like drugs in his city and throws down his weekly ultimatum and embarks on his weekly killing spree before the usual surprise ending revealing his mother’s sabotage and his mysterious time on the remote island after the shipwreck which killed his father [sorta].
Details: The second episode begins with the much-reviled voiceover [ugh] and a Kardashian reference [double ugh] – so not exactly getting off on the right foot. Then ex-girlfriend, Laurel, tears him a new one – again – for all the bad things he did to her and we assume after the show’s creators milk her anger a bit more it might eventually go away and join the voiceover on Pluto. After being ditched and knocked out by the person he was supposed to be protecting, John Diggle is both surprisingly resilient and somewhat amnesiac – which helps his character’s motivation, we guess. There are a few more “Gymkata” workout routine scenes for the ladies and then we move on to the meat of the episode where this episode’s bad guy on Oliver’s father’s list is Martin Somers – who is full of the typical bad guy bluster as he teams up with Rotating Guest Villain Number One, China White [who we call Nikki Minaj due to her distracting platinum wig – which most certainly distracted Oliver as he tussled with her in one scene]. Somers and Minaj are in cahoots and the damn good guess here is that since Arrow does not immediately dispatch of Nikki in their fight scene, she will probably be showing up to distract him more in future episodes.
Meanwhile, flashbacks of his yacht wreck and survival continue and through these, we discover that seabirds are attracted to dead people in rafts [who knew?], he buries his dad under a pile of rocks, finds an empty notebook with a mysterious geometrical symbol [we think it’s either a coupon for a free pizza on the island or Prince’s new name] and gets shot by another Arrow-looking fellow or gal [could it possibly be Nikki Minaj!? No way!]. In between all that riveting action, his sister continues to a typical female and harp on him about keeping his feelings to himself instead of wanting to talk about football, fends off Laurel’s police detective father who wants to fling him out of his sole remaining daughter’s life and he halfway makes up with Laurel by eating ice cream with her and saving her life from a surprise attack by Nikki Minaj.
After a second extended battle with Somers and Nikki – which, for the second episode in a row, leaves the bad guy alive – he is seemingly trapped by Laurel’s father only to escape via one of his special bank account-draining arrows. Shortly afterward, Oliver breaks the bad news to his dad’s gravestone – that he will have to dishonor his name in order to fulfill his wishes of righting all the wrongs in Starling City. The dad’s gravestone is mum on the subject – so we can assume that means Oliver has been given to green light to go on another killing spree in the third episode.
The episode ends with his mother scheming against him yet again – and scheming with a person flashing that mystery pizza coupon symbol – and a flashback scene showing Oliver receiving one of his scars – an arrow through his shoulder as shot by a mysterious archer on the remote shipwreck island. We know he survived so the only conclusion must be that he joined a roving band of honey badgers and made it through the difficult island weather by eating rocks and bits of string he found on the beach. Well, that’s our conclusion until the third episode clears things up for us.
The Poop and Skinny: Straight up – the voiceovers have to go – as far away as possible. We’re thinking Pluto. Second, we like this idea of a guest villain – it brings back fond memories of the Batman television series – and Nikki Minaj is a good first effort,, now they just need to tilt the camera for the fight scenes and add some fightin’ words like “Oof!” and “Kapow!” Third, we like that Laurel and Ollie both like eating ice cream by candlelight – just watch out for those uncomfortable ice cream farts later. There’s nothing worse than attempting to suppress an ice cream fart to maintain a level of sexiness for potential intercourse. Fourth and finally, after lying on the beach for who knows how long – but long enough to get the attention of seabirds – we’re thinking his dad should have had rigor mortis by the time he buried him in rocks. Just keepin’ it real.