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Kids - always wanting something, piercing unauthorized parts of their bodies, never saying please or thank you, sometimes programmed to kill you by former wives - ungrateful, selfish brats.

Childrens Hospital Episode Recap - A Kid Walks Into A Hospital - Season 4, Episode 9

Synopsis: It’s Sy’s 60th birthday and while that may normally be a perfectly good reason to trot out the carrot cake and real human kid piñatas, instead, it means that it’s an opportunity for Sy’s former wife to attempt to assassinate him due to a pact made when both were agents for the gub’ment. Also, everything’s connected.

Kids – always wanting something, piercing unauthorized parts of their bodies, never saying please or thank you, sometimes programmed to kill you by former wives – ungrateful, selfish brats.

Details: The main “plot” – if one can call anything in Childrens Hospital resembling a plot, a plot – has Sy being exposed as a former covert agent [along with his wife] for the gub’ment. But before we get to that juicy fruit, there are the matter of the various subplots – in this case, Lola’s newly hired younger sister Maxine, trying to seduce Owen, Val continuously punching Blake for, ostensibly, no good reason and the pushing of a big red button which works as a metaphor for life. So before we get to the meat and taters of Sy’s dilemma, we have Maxine insisting that Owen show her the ropes by asking “so, where are these ropes?” – probably the best line of the episode. Meanwhile, Sy, ever wary that his wife is meaning to make good on her promise to off him by his 60th birthday for not following her into a life of covert action [anybody see a potential future pairing of Sy with Kove from NTSF:SD:SUV:: or is that just the absinthe talking?] is on the defensive when a casually disappearing and re-appearing young coma patient presents him with a Polaroid picture of Sy and her pregnant mother. It turns out Sy’s wife has programmed their love child to assassinate Sy. After a lengthy fight scene, Sy finally fends off his assassin daughter with a flick of the Polaroid that embeds itself in her forehead and kills her… or does it? Bwhahahahahahahahahaha… cough, cough, cough.

The Poop and Skinny: There are three – count ‘em, three! – reasons to watch this episode. But first, discard the Blake-punching Val subplot as quickly as your brain can manage it and focus entirely on the Sy storyline while allowing for a little scenic route through the Owen/Lola/Maxine Bermuda triangle. Reason one – It is a Childrens Hospital that focuses on Sy/Fonzie/Henry Winkler – these are always winners. Second – it’s not very often – in fact, trending toward downright never – that you’ll see a death scene involving taking a Polaroid pic hit to the forehead. Third – the picture on the Polaroid appears to be – and mind you, we’re only speculating wildly here – Fonzie. But not just any Fonzie, Early Fonzie in his blue coat period before he donned the iconic leather jacket. Aaaayyyyyy…..

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