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"Neon Genesis Evangelion Platinum: 07" It's Apparently The End Of The World...

Evangelion is a failed giant robot show.

There are shows where the giant robots are secondary; look at Martian Successor Nadesico and Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers. There are shows where the giant robots are the true stars, such as Mobile Fighter G-Gundam, Gravion Zwei, and even America’s own Megas XLR.

Neon Genesis Evangelion falls into the first category, but the cast seems to be secondary as well. I have no idea what the creators were going for here. At points, you like the characters (Asuka’s brash, Shinji’s every weak guy, Misato’s a fun drunk), but at other points, like the final episodes, you just don’t give a damn. Instead of saying, “Hey, this is what’s been going on”, the last batch go into a whole psychoanalytical attempt to figure out why Shinji’s such a weak person.

Ya know what, Matt Greenfield? I don’t give a whit about the id or superego or Shinji’s Oedipus complex or why he can’t get his rocks off.

Look, it’s simple: Giant. Robot. Show. I want explosions and I want fights.

Episode 24, with its Rocky And Bullwinkle-type title “‘The Beginning and the End,’ or ‘Knockin on Heaven’s Door’,” is the real “end” of the series. The final fight with the final Angel. There’s no reason why it couldn’t end with the surviving Eva Units teaming up against a monstrous, all-powerful Angel, combining their powers and strengths, and giving us a rousing series finalé.

You can be moved by giant robot battles. Take G-Gundam, for example. It was incredibly cheesy; Domon has dived into the Dark Gundam, gotten his girlfriend, and is ready to fight the final boss. With the ultimate “Burning Finger!” the two use the power of love to rip a heart-shaped hole in the forces of evil. We stand up and cheer for the winning move.

Megas XLR: The original Megas robot is destroyed! Sure, Coop eventually gets another one, but it won’t be the same one that he started off with. All future episodes (if they are ever made) wouldn’t feel the same.

Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers “Ninja Quest Part 1″ will always stand out in my mind. Multiple monsters surround the two lone Megazords, overpowering them. Dumbass Tommy pushes them to their limits, and they blow up real good. The Rangers eject, but they see their hope of saving California destroyed in front of their eyes.

Ya know what happens in Evangelion? Shinji crushes a kid.

There isn’t even an interesting or dramatic battle leading up to it. Yes, there is a battle, but they’ve done much better ones. There’s no final attack that saves the day. Shinji picks up a boy and squeezes, after about two minutes of music to build the tension.

Yeah, I’m tired of the actual episodes.

For the extras, we get the standard animatics, opening and closing, previews, and commentaries by Matt Greenfield and some dude who thinks he knows a lot about Eva. Seriously, this guy does lectures on Shinji’s id and what not. These two also host a “Mythology of Evangelion” special. Obviously, an ADR director and fanboy are the complete encyclopedias on everything Eva.

Well, Eva fans will buy it. But if you’re not an Eva fan already, don’t even bother. There’s no real ending here. I’m not even going to pay it the minimal respect of giving this review an ending. One bad turn deserves another.

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